The Second Coming NBA Column

Spurs v Thunder: NBA Western Conference Comparison

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Mon, 28 May 2012 22:13:00 +0000

This is Kyle's Dad, John, again. I happened to be thinking about the two NBA Western Conference Finalists, the Oklahoma City Thunder and the San Antonio Spurs.

Except for the overall average age of the two teams, they seem to have striking similarities, which have led to their success this year. They are led by the NBA's top two "low maintenance" superstars in Kevin Durant and Tim Duncan, who each have no problem with playing in a small market, and are each recognized as the hardest workers on their respective teams. Recently, Scott Brooks told me that the Oklahoma City shoot-arounds are harder than most teams regular practices, because Durant has that kind of work ethic and makes them that way. In his fourteen years in the league, Tim Duncan has always been known for his work ethic, which contributes to his longevity. It makes it very easy to be successful when your best players are also the hardest workers.

Both teams have extremely quick point guards in Russell Westbrook and Tony Parker, both of whom are playing arguably the best basketball of their careers. They penetrate the lane, can get to the bucket, and also have the mid-range jump shot that has been disappearing from all levels of basketball over the last twenty years (with the emphasis on 3-point shots). They also punish teams that choose to go behind the high pick & rolls, because they both also can shoot from 3-point range.

They both have "instant offense" left-handed combo guards in Manu Ginobili and James Harden, who come off the bench, and keep their offenses functioning at the same high level as the starters. There is no doubt that they would be starters on any other team in the league, but both seem to relish their roles.

There is also the old basketball rule that, if you want to know who the coach feels are the best five basketball players on his team, you do not look at the starters, but at the five players that he has in at the end of close games. Both these players are always in the game in those situations.

For defensive stoppers, you have Thabo Sefalosha of the Thunder and Kawhi Leonard of the Spurs, both of whom can make three point shots spotting up on penetration by the point guards. Both have physical big men who know how to set a good pick, play post defense and rebound: Kendrick Perkins, Nick Collison, Serge Ibaka of the Thunder and DeJuan Blair, Boris Diaw, Tiago Splitter of the Spurs.

Both teams have bench players who can come in and shoot the 3-point shot at a high percentage.....Matt Bonner, Gary Neal, Steven Jackson of the Spurs and Derrick Fisher, Daequan Cook of the Thunder.Both teams also have shot blockers who excel, Serge Ibaka of the Thunder, and Tim Duncan of the Spurs, and extremely successful defensive systems.

So the question remains, who will prevail....the young athletic talented Thunder or the Spurs with their combination of championship playoff experience and veteran leadership combined with some young talented role players. It should be close and exciting, with the edge probably going to the Spurs simply since they have home court advantage.

I can hardly wait!

NBA Basketball Futility

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Tue, 01 May 2012 17:45:00 +0000

“Hello Friends” as Jim Nance always says at the Masters Golf Classic. This is Kyle’s dad, crotchety John again.

As the NBA playoffs start with the resultant increase in attention, I was reading about the Charlotte Bobcats and their record of 7-59, losing their last 23 games of the season. That sets a record at .106 for the lowest winning percentage in NBA history, eking out the mark of .109 set by the 1972-73 Philadelphia '76ers.

Since I was living in Philadelphia during the 1972-1973 season, I thought it might be interesting to reflect back on the previous record holder, who ended their season with a record of 9-73. I went to quite a few of those games, and saw first-hand the futility that set the standard for the last 40 years.

What is interesting is this - that team, in the pre-expansion NBA days with only 17 teams, had some decent NBA talent. They had Tom Van Arsdale, Bill Bridges, Kevin Loughery, Leroy Ellis, Don May, Dennis Awtrey, and Hal Greer. They were led in scoring at 20.0 points per game by the crowd- pleasing Freddy “Mad Dog” Carter, a third round draft choice out of that "well-known" basketball school, Mount St. Mary’s University (I'm kidding) in the 1969 draft. He came to Philadelphia with Kevin Loughery in October 1971, or Archie Clark and Louie Nelson.

The starting center was Leroy Ellis who averaged a double/double for the year with 14 points/10 rebounds per game. Ellis is actually the answer to a great trivia question: “who was the NBA player who played in consecutive years on the team with the most wins in NBA history, and also on the team that had the least wins in NBA history.” In 1972, he was a center on the Los Angeles Lakers who went 69-13 winning the NBA Championship.

They were by a rookie head coach, Roy Rubin, and hurt by the fact that during the previous off season, their star player, the standout Billy Cunningham, jumped to the Carolina Cougars of the competing ABA. They struggled to a record of 4-47 at the mid-season mark. Rubin was replaced by player-coach Kevin Loughery (remember player-coaches?) and he improved the team with a record of 5-26 under his guidance. The general manager was Pat Williams of later fame with the Orlando Magic.

To try to generate enthusiasm with the fans, Pat came up with some interesting promotions, such as the game with the Detroit Pistons, promoted as big feet night (Bob Lanier of the Pistons had size 22 feet, but was not happy when he heard about the event), where the fans with the biggest feet won a prize. There was also the “greased pig” night where fans competed to try to catch, yes, an actual live greased pig. The floor cleanup time after that event was lengthy.

Perhaps the game which most typifies the 76’ers for 1972-1973 was the game on February 3, 1973 against the Boston Celtics before the biggest crowd of the season 6,345 fans. The Celtics that year had Paul Silas (current coach of the Charlotte Bobcats), John Havilcek, Dave Cowens, Don Chaney, Paul Westphal, Jo Jo White, Satch Sanders, and Don Nelson. However, even against this imposing lineup, the 76'ers were up by 3 points with 13 seconds to go, and had possession of the basketball. (This was in the days before there was a 3-point shot in NBA basketball, so this made it a two possession game.)

I cannot remember the details exactly, even though I was there - I might have blocked the painful memory instinctively - but regardless, the Celtics ended up winning 104-100, extending the 76'ers losing streak to 15 games. It could have been one of the biggest upsets in NBA regular-season history, but as so often happened that season, Philadelphia found a way to pull out the loss in the end.

With all the painful losses though, I have to say that it was really nice to be able to show up at the Philadelphia Spectrum about 15 minutes before the game started and obtain a seat right behind the 76’ers bench, where I could hear all the coach and players frustrations first hand. Oh yes, the early NBA days!!

I Doth Protest Ron Artest

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 20:22:00 +0000

For those loyal followers of this blog, I must confess that this is not the creator, Kyle Slavin, but his crotchety 68-year old father, John. Since Kyle has been extremely busy trying to make a living as the Managing Editor of a new magazine platform called “The American Gentleman”, he has given me this opportunity to get some things off my chest.

I have a long history in basketball. My experience includes over 30 years of coaching for club and high school teams, and I am currently scouting college players for an organization called Net Scouts, which the dual purpose of providing scouting reports for NBA and foreign professional teams while also assisting college players in getting jobs overseas.

I also have had Los Angeles Lakers season tickets since 1977. (They are in the fourth row and cost $10.00 each when first obtained. I'd hate to tell you what they cost now.) In all those years of Lakers games, I have seen some of the most wonderful basketball ever played, and I have been a loyal supporter. But the Lakers are currently making it really hard for me to maintain that support.

For reasons that are still hard to fathom, the Lakers and Jerry West parted company after the run of championships from 2000-2002. In his biography, it seemed that a lot of it was due to a very strained relationship with Phil Jackson. Regardless, he departed, and the personnel decisions were primarily left to Mitch Kupchek (assisted by Ronnie Lester) and the director of scouting, Bill Bertka - all solid basketball people, all of whom subscribed to Jerry’s philosophy of finding players that both could play the game, and were solid citizens with good values and personalities.

They found these players because they understood the need to support each other during a long NBA season. After the championship year of 2009, as upper management became more involved, the inexplicable decision was made to alter the championship team. They let a young, improving, defensive-minded player in Trevor Ariza (who could also shoot long-range) go in free agency, and be replaced by Ron Artest, an older player with a long record of horrible behavior (for essentially the same contract).

In my opinion, the Lakers were extremely lucky to win the championship in 2010, as Artest made an innumerable amount of horrible decisions throughout the playoffs. The reason he was so wide open in the seventh game of the championship series was because the Celtics were begging him to shoot the ball, based on his horrible shooting percentage throughout the year.

Here is my point: Jerry West would never have made the decision to add Ron Artest to the Lakers! During their most recent playoff loss to the Dallas Mavericks in 2011 (a four-game sweep), his horrible attitude and thuggish behavior came to a boiling point, effecting the behavior of mild-mannered players such as Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum. In addition, the Lakers later compounded the situation by adding another hothead, Matt Barnes.

That brings us to the current travesty, Artest’s seven game suspension by the NBA for viciously elbowing James Hardin in the head with no apparent provocation. This was one of the dirtiest acts I have seen in over fifty years of watching professional basketball. It is inexcusable, intolerable, and it goes against the rich history of the Laker organization.

I implore the Lakers to rid themselves of this cancer and get back to playing the type of basketball we have come to expect. Right now there is no ‘World Peace” in Laker land! Bring back our classy organization, and players we can root for!

Game 7, Four Rows Back: A Championship Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 16:52:00 +0000

We believe in you! We got your back! You’ve come this far, let’s do this!

We were hoarse. We were sweaty. Emotionally spent, we had headaches of heroin-withdrawal intensity.

Our legs were shaking like The Big One had finally hit LA, which makes sense, since we handle earthquakes much better than Game 7 losses. My neighbors were turning their hats backwards, rolling up sleeves, doing everything possible to reverse the bad juju that had cursed the Staples Center up until that point.

We were down. But we kept on cheering.

The fans in Staples Center last Thursday night may have been removed from the action on the court, but we were completely and utterly involved. For the first half, we had rolled with the punches and kept it close. At halftime, as the cameras went to commercial, we watched our despondent but determined Purple and Gold take the floor slowly, one by one, to warm up for the second half.

The music was off, and the media was hitting the restrooms and refreshments. The now-you-see-them celebrities were getting their free popcorn in the tunnel club. It was just the fans and their ball players. And, armed only with our words of inspiration and what was left of our lungs, I was joined by 17,000 of my closest kin in shouting encouragement to the Lakers – our Los Angeles Lakers – to turn it all around.

Pau, be strong! You’re better than these guys! Derek, keep shooting baby!

And at that point, it wasn’t looking good.

The deficit was six, which was remarkable considering how poorly we played. Pau Gasol couldn’t hit a shot, Kobe Bryant was missing free throws, and it seemed as if everyone had been given charlie-horses pregame. The energy and passion were evident in their play, but it was spraying everywhere, lacking focus and direction.

We were using sprinklers in a war of Super-Soakers.

The Boston Celtics had come out proud and resolute. They pounded the ball in early to Rasheed Wallace, giving him confidence and catching Gasol off-guard. They leaned on their All-Stars, getting contributions inside with lay-ups by Rajon Rondo, and outside with the deadly mid-range game of Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce. They forced the ball out of the hands of the Laker playmakers, tripling Kobe late in the shot clock, and forcing the often-unreliable outside game of the Laker bench to beat them.

In the biggest game I had ever witnessed, the Celtics kept the Lakers on their heels in every aspect of play. It was a hideously clever game plan, and it was working brilliantly.

* * *

Now, I had never seen the Staples Center quite like this. It could have been a crowd full of stuffed shirts and push-up bras, boasting that they went to a Finals Game 7 because that was the go-to event that Thursday. No. Every fan was animated, vocal, and invested, true die-hards who were too stubborn to give up hope.

These fans gave the refs the business. They booed Boston with fervor in introductions and throughout. They cheered at the appropriate rallying points, near the end of the quarters and after key defensive stops. Instead of cursing our players for missed layups and free throws, they urged them to get down the court and make up for it.

Everyone was wearing Lakers, inside and out. And in a game where every possession could mean the difference between Champion and Chump, that Staples Center crowd was determined to make all the difference it could.

Chants started in the rafters, and carried down the aisles. Each trip up the floor was either a thunderous DEE-Fense! or a LET’S go LA-kers!, starting even before the organ chimed in. Late calls were vehemently brought to attention, and successful plays were instantly lauded. It was beautiful, passionate, and inspired. And it was absolutely necessary.

You could see the looks on the Laker faces; they never had a home court advantage this effective. It may have taken them a moment to get used to it.

* * *

The halftime lead of six easily doubled. Four straight misses on the Lakers’ end translated into seven quick points for Boston. And as Phil Jackson called an uncharacteristic quick-trigger time-out, I began to ready myself for the possibility of defeat. And I found the thought process was completely unwelcome.

But slowly, tediously, the Lake Show started putting plays together.

It started with a welcome runner from Derek Fisher, who had nearly splitzed himself out of the game. That was followed by a couple shots from Lamar Odom, making a brief appearance of potency on the offensive end. And after a Kobe chip shot and a couple Gasol free throws, it was suddenly a five-point game again.

The Lakers had withstood the knockout punch. The run put 15 points on the board in six minutes, forcing Boston into a momentum-ceasing time out. The Lakers were amped. We were amped. And as Odom and Andrew Bynum waved their arms at the crowd, we screamed right the hell back at them.
And we screamed with the passion of every fan who couldn’t be there beside us.

Now, I’m not going to say that the Staples Center crowd gets the credit for the Laker victory on Thursday night. I’m not going to take anything away from a squad that came through with a victory in the biggest game of their lives. It would diminish the accomplishments of the season, and the determination of the team all through the playoffs.

But I have to think we helped a little.

Six years ago, Rasheed Wallace grew infamous for his “both teams played hard” boilerplate answer to press questions. In that Game 7, I honestly have not seen two teams play harder. Both the Lakers and the Celtics were so spent that even the bench players – players that didn’t play a single minute in the game – were covered and dripping in sweat.

It was the most important game I had ever witnessed. It was the most impassioned game, the most haphazard, the most emotionally draining. It was close to the bitter end, with every shot a statement, every possession absolutely pivotal.

And the Celtics, our bitter arch-rivals, have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. They put up a ridiculous fight, and pushed the Lakers to the very brink of elimination before running out of gas.

You did it! You deserve this! Yea, Kobe! Yea Pau! Yea Fish! Yea Lakers! Champions baby! Champions!

Both teams were champions. Yes, Rasheed, both teams played very, very hard. But after the final buzzer sounded, it was the Lakers who remained. And as for their hoarse, emotionally drained fan base? We decided to stay, and cheer just a little bit longer.

Steve Nash: The Busted Face of Basketball

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Sat, 29 May 2010 13:44:00 +0000

I’ve always been a Steve Nash hater. Let’s just get that out there.

I’ve always thought that he’s a wormy, saccharine Canadian; a player whose abilities on the court are blown out of proportion by his statistics on paper. He’s the high school quarterback that scores the hot cheerleader, heads the class council, gets straight A’s, and petitions for more soda machines on campus.

He is the kid who does more community service than the amount required for graduation. I mean, who does that!?

We get it, Steve. You’re nice. You’re a do-gooder, and you’ve won over the masses with your G-rated Disney pizazz. Just stop the act already.

If you were to ask me, he didn’t deserve those MVPs. He got them because he was small, white, and did everything right. He answered questions politely, and smiled for the camera. He visited hospitals and painted houses. But his play didn’t justify the accolades, the fanfare, or the adoration. He has won nothing, accomplished nothing, proven nothing.

I would have said he played us all for fools. And you know what? I would have been dead wrong. Because even though he’s playing against the Lakers…myLakers…I keep finding myself rooting for Steven John Nash.

***

It kills me to say this, but Nash has revolutionized the game of basketball. His effect cannot be seen in a single game (though I guarantee you, like last night’s Game 5 thriller, he will make any game entertaining), nor can his effect on the basketball culture be quantifiably measured. This is true within Phoenix, Dallas, Santa Clara, Canada, and all throughout the NBA-watching globe. Just ask around.

This wormy, saccharine Canadian has become an ambassador. Our ambassador. And, though it has taken me a while to come around on this fact, it is a privilege to have this class council president as our diplomat to the basketball-watching legions. His methods are highly successful, tremendously watchable, and brilliant to behold. May the Coke machines abound.

First, let me break down what Nash brings to the court. In this, his 13^th season, when his body should be/has been breaking down for at least five years, he is enjoying one of his finest seasons of all-time. (No small feat for a prior back-to-back MVP winner.) He averaged 16 points and 11 assists a game this year, 17.5 and 10 in the playoffs. He led his team to the Western Conference Finals when no one had them out of the first round. He re-activated Amare Stoudamire (not to mention the whole city of Phoenix), and in the biggest game of the year he hit big shot after big shot even as his coach was puking on the sidelines. True story.

And I realize it is a pity that we have never seen what he can do in the Finals.

True, he can’t beat players with his speed, provide lock-down defense, elevate, or play for over 35 minutes a game. But he never really could in the first place, could he? When he is on the court, he hides his every shortcoming in a way that it only rarely becomes apparent.

I mean, let’s be honest. Every single player in the NBA – yes, even Earl Boikins – could post up Steve Nash if they were alone in a gym together. But it doesn’t happen. Why? Because Steve sees the play coming, switches off, and never gives them the opportunity.

Steve maximizes his strengths at the offensive end to make up for his defense. If he needs to get by his defender, he goes into a succession of stutter-steps and hesitations, dipping his shoulder only when he has the man completely off-balance. If the defense switches, he lures the big men out to the 15-18 foot range, and either lofts a high shot over him (that he makes with great regularity) or burns by him for an unorthodox - yet thoroughly practiced - layup.

For the opponent, it’s maddening. It’s like trying to share a sleeping bag with your sister - it should be easy, but you just can’t get in the right position.

On drives, Nash gets behind the hoop - much like a hockey player – and looks for cutters at angles the defense isn’t accustomed to. If the defenders stay at home on their players, it makes for an easy and uncontested layup. But if they switch off, they have to turn their back on Stoudamire or Grant Hill. And that’s never a smart idea.

It’s brilliant basketball play, really. Like in fencing, he realizes that he is in power when he has the ball in attack mode. He makes the choices, dictating every move that the defense makes, and countering appropriately.

I’m beginning to realize I’ve never seen a player like him.

Steve Nash is proof that you don’t have to be able touch the top of the backboard in order to play in this league. He embodies the natural evolution of basketball; the game where a keen eye and smart thinking can make up for a lack of athletic talent.

Now, I’ll root for the Lakers until I’m purple and gold in the face. But for basketball fans, Steve Nash is our savior. He is the hope of the slow, ground-ridden masses.

And that’s quite an accomplishment, isn’t it?

Lakers/Suns 2010 WCF Preview

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Mon, 17 May 2010 20:32:00 +0000

Meet thy enemy, Lakers fans. They’re way better than you had expected. But that doesn’t mean they are going to win.

Tonight, the Phoenix Suns roll into the Staples Center for Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals. This is the third straight WCF for the Lakers, but the first for the Suns since 2006’s loss to the Dallas Mavericks. The Suns are the oldest franchise in the NBA without a championship, while the Lakers, of course, are the defending title holders. It’s only fitting that the two should meet.

And though the Lakers and Suns play in the same division, I have the feeling that not too many Laker fans really know this years’ Suns are all about. Heck, I don’t think the Suns knew either until their Round 1 victory over the San Antonio Spurs. But that series victory, along with Steve Nash’s valiant one-eyed pirate impression in Game 4, was enough to peak the interest of the league, and label these Arizonans as contenders.

The Suns are for real. They are offensive opportunists. They have to be. Two of their starting five should be in the NBA’s old folks’ home at this point, sipping tea and playing Wii with Clyde Drexler. And while they’re not going to beat you with their athletic superiority or aerial acrobatics, they are of the highest basketball pedigree, perhaps the smartest team in the league at exploiting their strengths. They have a legion of slightly-better-than-average players that have meshed together on the court and in the locker room.

And that is a scary proposition, especially to a team with so many prominent individual personalities as the Lakers.

The Suns have camaraderie. They get into the seams, they move the ball, and they hit their threes. Plus, they enjoy being together, and have bonded as dorks of the highest calibur - unabashed internet geeks who film C-grade Avatar knock-offs while in transit between games. (This shouldn’t benefit them, but for some reason it does.)

Like dogs let out from the shelter, many of the Suns are transplants from other, more promising teams that failed to advance in the past, and are overjoyed to be running together again with a like goal in mind. I can imagine them looking around their locker room (thick with purple and orange, of course, and a Go-Rilla RIP shrine) at the beginning of the season, realizing that Steve Kerr somehow stumbled on a winning formula of an uptempo drive-and-kick game, and stuck to their guns as all the NBA pundits wrote them off as a flash in the pan.

Of course, the Suns lack a true center, and are facing the Lakers’ two-headed post monster. They play little defense, and they are going against the third-most potent offensive force in the league. And they don’t have any sort of proven “Kobe-stopper”…if there even is one. To win, Phoenix has to shoot the ball extremely well, play tough interior defense, and win at least one game in LA.

Is it possible to accomplish one of these feats? Yes. All three? It won’t be easy.

I asked my good friend Grace, a Phoenix transplant and Suns die-hard, about his take on the upcoming series. He knows more about the Suns and Phoenix than any of the experts, something he is both proud and ashamed of (…I think. I know I would be.) Here is what he wrote:

“Despite the love affair the talking heads have with Jason Richardson's 20 point games, the Suns' bench is going to be the true team barometer. The Lakers are the scariest team in the final four, but have notable depth and injury concerns. In the end, I'm hoping a high level of intensity from guys like Frye and Dudley can help Steve Nash ‘carry’ us to the Finals.”

And he’s right. Steve Nash can’t carry the Suns alone, unlike the previous incarnations of this team. If the Suns are going to have a shot at taking this series with the Lakers, it’s going to take some solid play from the lesser-known and promising Phoenix bench.

Gone are Boris Diaw and Raja Bell, two hard-nosed underachievers, and in their place are the feisty Jared Dudley and the streaky Goran Dragic, who are still young and inexperienced/cocky enough to think they can hang in the late rounds of the playoffs. The rest of their bench is full of unproven yet inspired players of the “Birdman” ilk, like Louis Amundson and the freshly-uninjured Robin Lopez.

On paper, there’s no way they should beat the Lakers. But look at their plus/minus stats and per-game performance, and you can see the Suns are playing better than LA has as of late. And as two of the Lakers’ victories over Phoenix this year came on the latter half of back-to-backs for the Suns, we haven’t really seen the two teams match up against each other.

I know my predictions have sucked so far (thanks, Cavs) but I see this series going five games, with the Lakers proving just too powerful for the Suns.

Hey, Steve Nash. Yarrrrrrrr.

NBA Playoff Predictions, Circa 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Wed, 05 May 2010 21:09:00 +0000

Folks, I have been issued a challenge. A colleague of mine – for the moment, let’s call him Nole Cowlin – is an Orlando Magic backer. He recently reached out to me with this statement:

"I know you’re a Lakers fan, but how can you possibly say they are a better team than the Magic are right now after that beating they laid on the Hawks? I want to see you make a case the Lakers still a legitimate shot to win the championship."

-NOLE COWLIN

Well, I accept your challenge, Mr. Cowlin. And I appreciate you coming to me with this. I believe this is sentiment of yours is shared with many NBA fans across the country, and you presented it without exclamation points or your caps-lock on. So I commend you.

Let’s start with some groundwork on the Orlando Magic. Now, they are indeed a fantastic basketball team, and are playing their best ball of the season. As I detailed in an earlier column, they play an offensive chess match, calculative in their spacing and passing, and they have the perfect recipe of outside shooting and interior strength to take out any team in the league.

Of course, they are not without their weaknesses. Dwight Man-Child Howard may be the most potent defensive force in the league today, but he is in total lack of an offensive repertoire. He’s currently preying on undersized Eastern Conference centers to get offensive put-backs, but once he faces up against a Shaquille O’Neal or even an Andrew Bynum, his foul trouble will return and he will begin to look remarkably average.

And as for Vince Carter, he has adjusted smoothly into Stan Van Gundy’s system in Orlando. But he’s still Vince Carter. And Vince Carter has yet to show up for big games. I’d love to be proven wrong here, but until I see him take over in crunch time, I can’t rely on him to carry the offense in the pivotal moments.

As it currently stands, the Orlando Magic can beat whoever comes out of the Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavaliers matchup, especially if that series lasts a rough six or seven games. And it’s true they had a strong opening-game showing against the Atlanta Hawks, a 41-point rout on Tuesday night.

But one blowout does not a champion make.

First, let’s see the rout for what it was. This is the NBA. These aren’t middle-schoolers. On any given night, any team can catch fire and light up their opponent. It happens from time to time, but it can just as easily become reversed in the next game, and rings are not handed out after one night of basketball.

As impressive as that rout may have been, I can guarantee you the rest of the Atlanta-Orlando series won’t go as smoothly. Though they should eventually emerge victorious, the Magic will not sweep the Hawks. Lock that prediction up, because it’s gold. The Hawks have just too much firepower with the Joe Johnson/Josh Smith/Jamal Crawford trifecta. But the Hawks are too volatile to make it deep in the playoffs, and yes, the Magic are playing way above their heads.

So, let’s bring this argument in the Lakers’ direction. The Utah Jazz, the Lakers’ second-round opponent, are way, way better than the Hawks. They have better players, a better coach, and though they have an identical record, they did so in a much tougher a deeper conference. They also have arguably the best point guard in the game in Deron Williams, a man who’s skill set I would hug if I could. Plus, they just knocked out the Denver Nuggets, a team that many experts predicted would make the Western Conference Finals.

And the Lakers just took it to them for two straight games. Convincingly.

Of course, I am biased. And like the Magic, I don’t think the Lakers are going to sweep the series. But I like what I’m seeing from the Purple and Gold right now. Pau Gasol is playing with urgency, and meshing splendidly with Andrew Bynum, creating a down-low duo that is very tough to match up against. Kobe is taking smart shots, but moving the ball around enough to get others involved, and his numerous injuries look to be healing up nicely. And Ron Artest is shooting better, moving better on D, and keeping his crazy at a minimum.

But most impressive is the play of Lamar Odom. The stats may not show it, but Odom has played with a passion and ferocity that I have never seen from him before. His rebounding is…otherworldly. Where most other players would give up on a play, he keeps fighting, and his length often wins out over his undersized opponents. (I mean, he had 15 rebounds in 29 minutes on Tuesday. That’s just outstanding.)

I see the Lakers taking this series, with the Jazz winning one or two along the way. And I can see them taking the next series, too, after the bloodbath between the San Antonio Spurs and Phoenix Suns is over. Knock on wood, but if the goal is the Finals and an eventual repeat, the road is paved with favorable matchups for the Lakers.

But that’s where things get interesting.

If the Cavaliers solidify their play and make it through both Bostonand Orlando, I don’t think there’s any way the Lakers can get four wins on them. They match up very well with the Lakers, throwing big bodies at Pauand Bynum, and playing at a pace much speedier than the Lakers are comfortable with. And that’s before taking into account Mr. MVP, LeBron James, who can pretty much pencil in a 30-8-8 for each game the rest of the way.

But the Celtics and the Magic, on the other hand, match up very well with Cleveland. They both force LeBron and Mo Williams into outside shots, a style of play that is much less productive for them, and live with mid-range shots from Antwan Jamison and Anthony Parker. Plus, both Bostonand Orlando can say they’ve beaten the Cavs before, which is a valuable mental advantage that the Lakers can’t boast.

At the end of it all, I see Cleveland taking Boston in seven, Orlandotaking Cleveland in six, and the Lakers beating Orlando in six. Just like last year.

So, Nole…can I honestly make a case for the Lakers? Looks like it.

To Practice Against The Girls: A WNBA Tryout

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 17:50:00 +0000

I stood, hunched over, on the baseline. The rain of sweat from my forehead patterned the floor like a Jackson Pollack painting.

My legs and lungs were afire, and no amount of Gatorade could save me. My feet, like two spurned friends, had ceased to have anything to do with me, and ignored any request I sent their way. Now, I was in decent physical shape, but I was in real trouble here. And I was not alone. Around me stood thirty-five other dudes, all sweating, all panting, most of them with their hands on their knees and pained looks on their faces. In the shadow of the Lakers championship banners and retired jerseys above us, we had been beaten mercilessly.

After a long and thorough two-hour basketball practice session, we had just completed two full set of wind sprints. This was more running than I had done since, well…ever. And the strong-voiced gentleman before us just assured our crew that we were about to do them again. And again. Because that is what it took to become champions.

And to think, we had not only volunteered for this treatment, but we had paid good money for it.

My brethren and I were taking part in a try-out for the Los Angeles Sparks, the southland’s professional women’s basketball team. Of the thirty-five men, seven would be hand-selected to practice regularly against the Sparks. For the basketball fan, this was true hollowed ground: battling with a professional team, amongst championship banners. And in order to make them play their best, we had to prove our worth.

Now, none of us knew what to expect when we arrived at the Toyota Sports Center that day. We were welcomed with locked gates and tightened security, like true pros. I mean, this was the everyday practice court for the current NBA Champions. I was so star-struck by the purple-and-gold emblems and insignias that I had no idea what waivers I signed. Regardless, they booted me to the court with my #32 jersey and a ladies regulation-sized basketball, and told me to get loose.

To be honest, most of us were past our peak athletic years, if we had peaked at all. We ranged in age from the spry and jumpy 19-year-old to the traveled 55-year-old, a gentleman I called “Winter” who found his backside on the floor more than once. There was a 6’9”, 300-pounder who got lost on his way to football practice, and a hefty 5’6” Latino fellow with 90% of his body covered in tattoos. (Thank goodness, one tattoo was the Lakers logo.) And there was me, a 28-year-old white dude with shaggy hair and zero hops.

We looked like a circus freak show in sneakers. And our game play was about as pretty. Maybe half of us had any high school basketball experience, and what we remembered of 3-2 zones and half-court traps had left us long ago. If not for the strong guidance of Assistant Coach Steve Smith, the situation could have descended into a glorified pick-up game in no time. But Coach was not having it.

Most of us started sweating mid-way through our stretching routine. I know I did. And after the transition drill sets, any hope of having legs on your jumpers was lost. (And, for one fellow, so was his lunch.) No one was converting lay-ups, and turnovers abounded. We were fatigued, play was getting sloppy, and we knew we had a long way to go.

But, as often happens in basketball, one situation brought everyone together. We were running a five-man weave, a drill new to many of us. After a few practice runs, the third set of five screwed up the drill, and Coach Smith made them start anew. Once again, someone was out of position, and the crew of five had to redo the drill. This repeated a third, fourth, and a fifth time. But with each mistake, the sideline players began to encourage the fellows on the court with more enthusiasm. After the sixth mistake, the entire section of remaining players were clapping their encouragement, cheering on the tired crew for one more try.

Finally, they succeeded at the drill, and received hearty high-fives and applause on their way back up the court. Though they were all strangers two hours ago, the entire gym came together to celebrate the eventual success of these five. They were tired, and they got run hard, but there were smiles on every one of their faces. From then on, everyone was on the same page, and we rallied through the rest of the drills and scrimmages, finishing the practice winded but fulfilled.

And that’s what the try-out was all about. When we entered the Toyota Sports Center that day, we knew we weren’t pro ballers. But we also knew we had the opportunity to test ourselves on the same floor that those very pro ballers practiced upon. Most of us came to showcase our skills, to have a good run, and to come away with a good workout and a good story. And I think we all accomplished that.

If I were to eventually be selected to battle Candace Parker, Tina Thompson and the rest of the L.A. Sparks, so be it. It would be a privilege and an honor. But I will always remember that Tuesday night in El Segundo, when thirty-five strangers came together under the same lights as the stars.

The Sparks will tip-off their season on Friday, May 28th at 7:30pm vs. the Washington Mystics at STAPLES Center.

Da'Sean Butler: A Cautionary Tale

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 23:34:00 +0000

Quick Edit: Looks like Da'Sean Butler did, in fact, have a torn ACL. He has since had surgery on the knee.

On April 4^th, one week ago today, Da’Sean Butler was a crumpled heap on the Lucas Oil Stadium floor.

After leading his West Virginia Mountaineers to an improbable Final 4 berth, the All-American senior had faced an established and well-coached Duke team in the heat of the national spotlight. Butler was the main offensive option and strongest on-court leader for West Virginia. He had foregone the NBA draft in successive years in order to see how far his team could go, and under the guidance of Coach Bob Huggins, the squad looked poised for one last push against the tournament-hardened Blue Devils.

A win against Duke meant a trip to the championship game. But the Mountaineers were down big, and it was up Da’Sean Butler to bring this Cinderella back.

On a decisive dribble-drive down the left side, Butler met Duke’s big Brian Zoubek near the rim. Da’Sean planted firmly, absorbed the contact, and put up an awkward floater as the foul was called.

But Butlerlanded hard, and did not get up. As he writhed in pain and clutched his left knee, Coach Huggins ran to the court to consol his fallen star.

* * *

On April 4^th, one week ago today, the Milwaukee Bucks were facing the Phoenix Suns in a late regular-season NBA match.

Both teams were in the throes of the playoff race, and needed the victory to secure a favorable match-up in the postseason. Amidst the “Fear the Deer” signs and rabid chants of the Milwaukee faithful, the Bucks surged out to an early 12-point lead over the talented Suns, and looked poised to run away with the game.

Off an errant shot by Amare Stoudamire, forward Carlos Delfino found a streaking Andrew Bogut ahead of the defense. Bogut, Milwaukee’s former #1 draft pick and the face of the franchise, had been enjoying a career year with the surging Bucks and was poised to make his first meaningful post-season appearance. He caught the pass cleanly, and went up for a thunderous two-handed throw down as the arena crowd celebrated.

But as his momentum carried him forwards, Andrew lost his grip on the rim. His body turned in mid-air as he released, and he fell with the brunt of his 260-pound frame directly on his right arm.

The arm bent unnaturally behind his back, under the full weight of his fall. The arena went silent as the training staff rushed to his aid, tending to the disfigured joint. It was the most grotesque injury in the NBA since Shawn Livingston’s knee catastrophe three years ago, and possibly the worst arm injury in the history of the NBA.

* * *

Every single basketball player is playing with the house’s money. Each time you step on the court, you are putting your future games at risk, no matter how small that risk may be. After enough games, after enough plays, there is a near-certain probability that something will go wrong. It may be a turned ankle, it may be a dislocated shoulder. But, odds are, it will happen to you.

I have friends who blew out their knees in an empty gym, shooting jumpers. Heck, Sam Bowie broke his leg in an exhibition layup line with the Blazers in 1987. It’s borrowed time we’re all playing with, a Russian roulette with sneakers.

And this is why I will never hold it against a player for declaring for the draft early.

Look at it this way: Da’Sean Butler’s injury, though painful and scary, turned out to be a simple knee sprain. Nothing worse. It probably won’t affect his career in the long run. And though it shouldn’t affect his draft status, it undeniably will. He was originally projected as a potential lottery pick, and he has since fallen deep into the 2^nd round in mock drafts since the tournament.

As a lottery pick, Butlerwould have been guaranteed around $3 million in his rookie season, and maybe $7 million overall. As a second-rounder, he is not guaranteed an NBA contract. Projected forward, if this knee injury were to cost him an NBA career, it may have been a near-$30 million loss in potential salary.

It was just a knee sprain, (note - see edit at top!) but it serves as an example of the worst possible outcome for pre-NBA stars everywhere.

Andrew Bogut’s injury was drastic and ugly, and turned out to be way worse than Butler’s. He is out for the season, and it will take a year or two at minimum before he is back to full health. But, as he signed a five-year, $76 million guaranteed contract earlier this year, his recovery will be fully funded to the tune of over $10 million annually.

Two injuries on the same day. One was dramatically worse than the other. But the lesser injury may have meant a loss of $30 million, and a chance at an NBA career. Doesn’t seem right, does it?

* * *

Players are admonished, both in the media and by collegiate coaches and executives, for leaving school early in order to pursue their NBA dreams. They say the training and experience of four years in college pays substantial dividends when it comes time to make the leap into the NBA. The skills learned on the college court will translate into playing time in the league, and the life lessons learned in school are invaluable.

Besides, they say, if things don’t work out in the pro’s, you’ll always have your degree to fall back on.

Bubkus, I say.

A top-tier player is sitting on a winning lottery ticket. If they are a first-round draft pick, that means a guaranteed contract, and a near-guaranteed opportunity. You pass that up, there’s no certainty that the opportunity will present itself again.

The opportunity, plus a guaranteed multi-million dollar contract, that is.

Now, I am not all about the money. But name for me a situation where it’s understandable to withhold, say, $7 million from someone who has earned it. A CEO would spend years in the courtroom trying to get that money back. And that’s not to mention the Kevin Garnetts, the Kobe Bryants, the Dwight Howards and LeBron James that came directly from high school to drive the NBA. Would the league really be better off if they had risked one of these superstars for a year in college?

These kids’ lives revolve around their capacity to play basketball, and a great number of them don’t get that opportunity because of an injury occurring before they could be properly compensated. An NBA contract is a fail-safe. And you get no such thing in college ball.

You can always go back and get your degree, but you can’t give back a busted body part. The window of opportunity to play in the NBA is simply too small and too risky to pass up.

Thus, I am officially against the age requirement for the NBA. Aside from the constitutional arguments and the legality of the rule, it is simply unfair to the handful of talented high-schoolers out there who are risking another year of potential injury before they are eligible. If you are a legal adult, have the skills and the ability to play in the NBA, and the possibility exists for you to sign a contract that compensates your abilities, no power on Earth should be able keep that from you.

Andrew Bogut was fortunate to make it through his two seasons at Utahinjury-free, and was drafted #1 overall. But Da’Sean Butler made a choice to stay in college, a choice that is always applauded by the NCAA and the NBA. But he is a prime example of swinging without a safety net, of what could happen if you take that risk.

His injury will almost certainly cost him millions. And that’s what makes his story all the more tragic.

* * *

Let’s hope there is light at the end of this tunnel. Butler’s work ethic and headiness on the hardwood can prove valuable in the NBA, and though we can’t be sure, it seems like he will be able to recover from his injury. But if his knee becomes problematic and keeps him off the court, there isn’t a team in the league that will hold on to him.

I think back to a week ago, as West Virginia’s title hopes were fading on that Lucas Oil Stadium floor. When Butler went down, I was sure his chances in professional basketball were done. And I’m pretty sure Butler thought so, too.

It makes me wonder what Coach Bob Huggins was whispering in Da’Sean Butler’s ear. What would you have said?

NCAA v NBA: Basketball Is Basketball

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 21:03:00 +0000

You turn the corner to the arena, and you can already hear the crowd screaming.

The thump of the music seems to make the blood boil in your veins. It’s rattling you through the rafters, and you have yet to even reach your seat. I mean, the fans are going CRAZY. They’re all wearing the same color, and their frenzied cheers ripple through the arena like seismic shocks. The energy is palpable, alive on the face of everyone you pass. And yes, it’s on your face too.

This is the game that the whole city has been talking about – hell, the whole country – and every fan here knows they are in for something special. And maybe, just maybe, their cheer can transfer to the court, to inspire their team, to somehow make a difference in the outcome of the game.

Then, the lights cut. The screams become manic. And the game begins.

* * *

Much has been made of the “rivalry” that NCAA basketball and the NBA have with each other, and Spring is usually the time rears its head. With March Madness and the playoff push battling for air time, coupled with the absence of any baseball and football to cloud the public attention, this is the time when the most eyes are on the roundball.

And, as sports nuts are known to go a little bonkers with their debates and opinions, the topic of “which is better” invariably pops up, like the daisies, each and every Spring.

The argument is always convoluted and myopic. It usually concludes nothing, and gets the two sides nowhere. If you favored NCAA basketball, would you really be swayed by anything the NBA-backer had to say? You enjoy the crowd energy, the youthful exuberance of the players, and the win-or-go-home anxiety of the tournament. It’s better basketball, you say.

But as an NBA fan, you tire of the argument that the college kids “play harder”. You want to watch the best athletes battle each other, and the pros just do things the college kids can’t. These players have perfected the game. They fly higher, they dunk harder, and when they collide you can feel it in your bones. It’s better basketball, you say.

Each and every Spring. Like the daisies.

* * *

The players quietly sit in front of their lockers. A couple have their heads down, nodding to the beat of their go-to pump-up jam. The family, the friends, and all the everyday distractions are slowly eased from their minds.

No one speaks. But they can feel the low rumble through the walls, resonating like an oncoming tornado.

Every minute, every pep talk from the season has been geared towards this game. The team has already been through so much together. Of course no one wants it to end. They know their game plan, and their limitations. If they are going to win, they had better execute perfectly. And every external force is geared to prevent that from happening.

The coaches come in. They take one last look around at their team.

“Fellas…let’s go. It’s time.”

* * *

It’s true, the college game and the pros are two completely different games. (That’s before discussing their different motivations, contracts, and pending shoe deals.) To say that you favor one because you are a “true basketball fan” really doesn’t lend credence to your argument.

The goal for each team is to win basketball games. End of story. They just have a drastically different approach to accomplishing that goal.

Because of the great dilution of talent in college basketball, most teams don’t have a true
“first scoring option”. Obviously, if you have a Hakeem Olajuwon, you’re going to keep going to him, but there are 347 D-1 teams, and there’s only been one Hakeem…ever.

This leads to a much greater emphasis on the coach, and his set systems. Oftentimes, the winning team has the most complete understanding of their coach’s system and how their teammates behave within it. As a style of play, it’s a bit more methodical. Swing the ball, observe. Swing back. Kick to the post, and kick out. Then a cut is made to where the defense seems weak, and from there the defense’s reactions dictate the play.

I said methodical, mind you. Not tedious. Methodical.

Likewise, in the NBA, there is such a specialized set of talents on each team that much of the game involves tossing the ball to your star player and either making it easier for them to operate, or getting out of the way completely. In most cases, the offensive system is created to fit the players, and not the other way around.

Dump the ball to Shaq, and let him do his thang. Put Michael, or Kobe, or AI on the free throw line extended and, yes, let him do his thang. It’s a bit more predictable, but “his thang” is usually more productive and reliable than an X’s and O’s play. Besides, with the 24-second shot clock in the NBA, there’s really not much time for a second option.

You see more “unstoppable moves” in the NBA, which leads to greater creativity in trying to prevent them from happening. But you see more overall team involvement in the NCAA, which comes across as more fundamentally sound.

But that is the great thing about basketball. No matter what your game plan entails, any team can beat you on any given night. Even the best players can have a bad outing, and even the worst players can randomly catch fire. And that is true for the NBA and NCAA alike.

Besides, if we just gave teams the victories, where would we go for hot dogs and beer?

* * *

The two teams have been absolutely killing it the entire night.

Every shot has been matched, every big play countered. Players are literally flying around the court, chasing loose balls into the stands, and looking for any edge they can gain against their opponents. Just when the visitors seemed like they would pull away, the home team gets a big defensive stop. The point guard gets the ball, puts his hand up, and walks the ball into the front court for a pivotal offensive set.

The entire stadium knows the weight of this possession, and as the point guard crosses the half court line, their frenzied but weary game-long cheering slowly, yet pointedly, reaches a crescendo.

One by one, every fan rises from their seat, and screams as loud as they humanly can.

The play sets up. The shooting guard makes a quick cut along the baseline, and gets the ball on the wing. A big man comes up to set him a screen, but as he goes around it, he pulls both defenders, and looks trapped. There is dangerously little left on the clock. The player hesitates, then rises up and fires a quick pass to the cutting high post, who swings a pass to the open small forward in the far corner.

He catches the ball, and sizes up the three-pointer. The recovering defender is running, full-speed, directly at him. With no time remaining and no other options, the small forward elevates, hangs, and lets the ball go.

It clears the advancing defender’s fingertips by inches.

* * *

And that’s the point. It’s basketball.

You can’t argue if one style of basketball is better than another. You just can’t. In the ebbs and flow of a given ball game, and the countless attacks and adjustments that occur on any given play, we are really arguing the same thing.

If you’re a multi-millionaire or a college kid with Advanced Bio in the morning, your goal is the same. You are there to make that shot. You are there to complete that play. It’s your only job, whether you get paid for it or not.

To hell with systems. You are there to win the game.

And how you plan to accomplish that has been set in motion long ago.

A Note From Kyle...

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 03:04:00 +0000

Recently, I have applied for TSCblogs to be included in the prestigious Last Fan Standing contest being run over at CBSsports.com. This competition takes 64 basketball blogs and pits them against one another during the NCAA Tournament. The fans vote for their favorite blogs, with prizes and awards being handed out along the way. The final four blogs receive some kind of exclusive access for the Final Four.

The smart lads running the show at Last Fan Standing have chosen TSCblogs.com to be a part of the festivities.

I will provide more information as it is presented to me, including which team I will be following and the specifics of the tourney. In the meantime, look for TSCblogs at the Last Fan website, and follow us on Facebook for updates.

Who knew March could get more interesting?

I'll chip in soon. Cheers and Regards,

UPDATE: THE FIRST ARTICLE IS UP. If you vote for me as "best blogger" on the main page, I will make you a TSC Faithful official member. This is a hollowed official position where you receive nothing and nothing happens for you. But it is awesome nonetheless.

-Kyle Slavin

Creator, Writer

TSCblogs.com

From Santa Barbara to Goettingen, Germany: Winning the Rochestie Way

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 18:54:00 +0000

There’s an old saying, “great people make great basketball players”. But with the slew of drunk driving charges and drug busts that follow our NBA superstars, it is hard to think of these dunking demi-gods as healthy human beings. Rich and young, their egos oftentimes fill the room – the area that is not filled with their posse, that is. You root for them, you cheer their success and marvel at their talents, but could you have a dinner conversation with these young multi-millionaires? Would you actually enjoy their company?

Taylor Rochestie does not roll with a posse. He does not “bling”. The native of Santa Barbara, Californiamade headlines when he led his underdog Washington State Cougars to the Sweet Sixteen, and he made a splash last year with the Los Angeles Lakers summer league team. An All-PAC-10 award winner and big-game standout, Taylor’s basketball resume is on par with the best young prospects in the world.

Yet despite his numerous high-profile successes and growing international experience, Taylorremains remarkably and undeniably grounded. He shows more poise and confidence on the court than a 10-year NBA veteran, but he bristles with the exuberance of a summer camp teenager.

Ask him about his teammates at State, and his eyes light up. Mention his new gig in Goettingen, Germany, and he’s ready with entertaining anecdotes about uproarious fans and Anti-Nazi rallies, only hinting at the fact that the team far outperformed expectations this year, and that his contributions were paramount in their cause.

And it’s not like his performance has gone unnoticed. Says Gottengen teammate Jason Boone of Rochestie, “I honestly think that he’s one of the toughest players I’ve ever played with. Not in terms of physicality, but mentally, he plays an extraordinary amount of confidence whether we are on the road playing against the first place team or at home against the last place team. And I think it’s contagious.” (courtesy GermanHoops.com)

Simply put, Taylor Rochestie makes the game better. He finds seams in the defense much like Steve Nash, and finishes with runners and scoop-shots that are equal parts balanced and unpredictable. Ever since his days with the Santa Barbara High Dons, he has had a knack for knowing when to facilitate and when to demand the ball. A silky-smooth touch from the arc, he recently won the Three Point Shootout at NBBL All-Star game. (And, of course, he celebrated by hugging the mascots with a grin ear-to-ear.)

But what sets Taylorapart is his Larry Bird-like demeanor: poised, humble, overloaded with confidence yet blessed with humility. He seems endlessly active on the court, yet his moves are assertive and direct, and always contrary to what the defense thinks they are giving him. The lefty has a knack for getting past even the quickest defenders, and the poise to either finish or dish at exactly the most opportune time.

It’s as if there is the wrong way to do things, the orthodox way, and the Taylor Rochestie-right way. And as Washington State fans know, the Rochestie way wins games.

For MEG Goettingin this year, Taylor has averaged 14.5 points in only 24 minutes per game, while shooting an astounding 51% from the field, 45% from behind the arc, and 85% from the free throw line. (For a quick comparison, no one in the NBA has kept those percentages this year. Steve Nash was closest at 51%, 42%, and 93%). And though his numbers dipped slightly in the 10-game EuroChallenge, coach John Patrick has been more than pleased by his production:

“He is able to make quick good decisions on the pick and roll. He is improving all the time. He is a great shooter and fits perfectly to our system...[though] he looks like Beaver Cleaver,” he added. (courtesy GermanHoops.com)

Taylor Rochestie recently had a chance to answer some questions about his recent experiences in

Germany

, and his growing legacy back home. Even after a thoroughly vicious practice session, Rochestie speaks with energy and purpose -- a style that perfectly mirrors his vivacious nature on the hardwood.

KS: How tough was the acclimation to international ball? What do they do differently?

TR: I think the acclimation for me was a lot easier than most first year players. My coach graduated from Stanford University and is an American, and I have a lot of Americans on my team. The town I’m in, Goettingen, is a pretty liberal town and the people here speak a good amount of English, so those things have made the transition pretty easy.

As far as basketball goes, I think the two biggest changes are that these players take a lot of charges instead of trying to block your shot, and they call a lot of travels here, when they let it go more in the states. All this led to a lot of preseason turnovers for me and some of the new guys but you get use to it and adapt.

KS: What players have impressed you the most over there?

TR: I would say I’m most impressed with some of the crafty veterans that are spread out around the lead. Guys in there mid-30's still balling like their young because they have found their niche at the pro level, and have been around the game so long. It's very humbling to have a guy that’s ten years older than me teach me a few things.

KS: How do you think your high school career in SB has prepared you for college and pro ball?

TR: I'd say the work ethic I established throughout high school with having great teammates and coaches would be the thing that has helped me get to where I am right now. Learning at an early age that I have to work harder than all the other guys out there that want to make a living off of playing ball.

KS: Is The League still the goal right now? Or do you see yourself on an extended stay in Germany?

TR: Right now I’m just enjoying every minute of this experience and what it has to offer. I already look back at college and wish it didn’t go by so fast, so I’m learning to just be in the moment and who knows what the future holds for me as far as basketball. Of course, I would love to keep playing for a long time.

KS: What is your best "Welcome to Germany!" story?

TR: The first morning I woke up here the street in front of my apartment was shut down due to an anti-Nazi rally in the town. Needless to say I cooked myself my own breakfast!

KS: MEG Goettingen has just enjoyed a far better season than expected. What are the fans like? Are they a bunch of soccer hoodlums, chanting and raving and such?

TR: The fans out here are great. We have only lost one home game all year, and none in the German league. They chant and bang on drums the whole time. I don’t know what they’re saying most of the time, but I would imagine its all good things about us!

KS: Nice job on the 3-point shootout win. What was the contest like, and how was the reaction afterwards (other than the hugs from the mascots)?

TR: The 3-pt contest was a lot of fun, it was the first time I have ever done something like that before and I will remember it for a while to come. My brother was here visiting me and got to root me on so that is what made it for me, but being able to be apart of All-Star Weekend out in Germany for my first year was a very memorable experience.

KS: Your college career must feel like a million miles away by now. Do you still stay in touch your fellow Cougars?

TR: Yes, "once a Coug always a Coug." I just had a six-day break and went "home" to WSU campus and stayed with some friends and got to watch them play UCLA. I stay up sometimes till five in the morning to watch or read about the games they play. As for all of my teammates I still talk to them, and I’m even talking to one of them right now, while doing this interview.

KS: Are you recognized on the street over there yet?

TR: There are a couple of places that I go on a regular basis that are now my favorite local spots, so they know me there, but I’m no Michael Jordan.

KS: What was it like playing for the Lakers last summer league, after growing up a Lakers fan?

TR: That was a dream come true. We had practice a couple of days before the summer games and just being in the locker room, and wearing the Laker jersey was a dream. Every time we were doing hard drills and I started to get tired I would look down at the name on the front of my jersey and that would be more than enough to keep going hard.

Taylorgets back to action this week for MEG Goettingen after a short All-Star break, and will compete in Round 3 of the EuroChallenge later this month. For more information and to follow Taylor’s progreess, check out his info page on EuroBasket.com or MEG Goettingen’s team page.

The Hall Pass: History's Failing McGrade

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 06:43:00 +0000

I have, in my mind, a player with a Hall of Fame-type career. A player who led the league in jersey sales while leading his team to multiple 50-plus seasons as their sole offensive option. This player absolutely dominated the league for three straight years, doing so smack-dab in the middle of Kobe, Shaq, and Duncan's prime.

At his peak, he had a scoring average higher than anyone since

Jordan

. (Check that: a pre-baseball-hiatus

Jordan

.) A fan favorite, he was assured a starting spot on the All-Star team every year, a trend that has maintained deep into the twilight of his career. He could shoot the three, he could dish and dunk, and he demanded the max contract to do so.

His best games are long gone, and injuries have slowed his production to a full-stop. But for a few years there, he was untouchable, undeniably one of the top players in the game.

He could very well be one of the top 50 players ever. But despite his two scoring titles, seven All-Star appearances and seven All-NBA teams, he isn't going to make it into the Hall of Fame.

Pleased to meet you. Won't you guess my name?

***

If you were to be given the career of any NBA player, who’s would you choose? Would you pick the Kevin Willis-style journeyman path? (Personally, playing for ten teams over 21 years would seem like the world’s longest Survivor episode.) The poster-child for durability, Willis made a boatload of money in his NBA career, and would probably be taken first overall in a fantasy draft for “Players with the Best Stories”.

Or, would you prefer James Worthy’s career? Eight years of high-level production, seven All-Star appearances, three championships, and a Finals MVP (’88)? Though “Big Game James” was decimated by injuries late in his career, he had a much more memorable NBA experience than Kevin Willis, as evidenced by Worthy’s 2003 Hall-of-Fame induction.

The player I have in mind took a different path. By all accounts, he is a better basketball player than James Worthy, shocking as it may seem. He is a better outside shooter, better finisher, and far more physically gifted than Worthy. Thus far, they have played exactly the same number of seasons. But if my guy were to retire today, nearly all his career numbers would be better than “Big Game James”.

The player is Tracy McGrady. And his chances of making the Hall are about as good as a snowball’s chance in, well, Houston.

***

It is easy to forget how dominant McGrady was at his prime. We see him today as the hobbled, drama-causing fellow in street clothes on the Houston bench. We see him as needy, injury-plagued and, yes, even jinxed. How else can a player who is so gifted, so obviously better than every one else on the court – how else can you explain his countless failures in the playoffs? His injuries that, after a time, became predictable?

The current Tracy McGrady is a shell of the player he once was. His once-confident stride has slowed to a head-down shuffle, his sleepy eyes gazing at the game with a sad disinterest. He has played six games for the Houston Rockets this season, all in December, and averaged 3.2 points per game. His total for those six games combined are two less than his career average.

For his efforts, the Rockets are paying him just a shade over $23 million, currently the high-mark salary in the NBA. More than Kobe, more than LeBron. That’s about $1.3 million per point, if McGrady were to shut down the season. And this possibility seems more likely by the day.

***

How can you quantify the failure that is Tracy McGrady’s career? How can a 7-time All-Star with a 22 ppg career average be considered inadequate?

Since 1980, only four players have repeat as scoring champion: Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson, and McGrady, with McGrady as the youngest to accomplish this feat. He has had a 60+ game. In 2004, he has scored 13 points in 35 seconds to beat the defending champion Spurs. He scored 36 points in an All-Star game. He still is the points-per-game leader for the Orlando Magic. By any account, his stats and analysis have him in conversation with some of the best players in history.

But the basketball-watching public is infatuated with playoff results, and rightfully so. Therein lies the bitter taste in the mouths of the McGrady fan base. I mean, check out these lousy playoff numbers: averages of 28.5 points, 6.9 rebounds, 6.2 assists, 1.31 steals and 1.16 blocks in 38 career playoff games.

Wait, what? F’real?

The truth is, despite the high amount of early playoff exits, Tracy McGrady has represented himself well in the playoffs. After his showing in the 2000 playoffs, when he scored 16.7 a game as a 19-year-old, he went for four straight 30+ ppg playoff series. How can this guy be branded a loser? Check out the four-year playoff line from 2001-2005:

Now, check out Mister Big Game James Worthy’s playoff stats:

Throw out sample size for the time being. James Worthy is a Hall-of-Famer with the moniker “Big Game”. Tracy McGrady is known as a playoff goat, a perennial loser who is unreliable in the playoffs.

That’s the problem with misconceptions. If you could only know when you’re making them.

***

I’m not saying that Tracy McGrady is the Greatest Player Ever. I’m not saying I want him on my team, or even that I like the guy at all. Trust me, there are people I’d rather invite to my bachelor party. (Kevin Willis, for example.)

What I am saying is this: Tracy McGrady is getting a raw deal.

Our appreciation for this outstanding player is clouded by his injury history, convoluted by his chase for the contract, and shadowed by his lack of playoff victories. Consider this: if McGrady stayed in Toronto his entire career, put up the same numbers, played for a bit less money, and was ousted every year in the first round, we would all feel sorry for him.

Think about it. The thirty-year-old Raptor, toiling away in the Canadian cold, throwing up Alex English-like numbers for eight seasons? We would have doted on him like we did with Kevin Garnett and the Timberwolves. “Look how hard he’s trying. He really has the warrior spirit. If only his team was better, he’d make it deeper in the playoffs.”

Garnett didn’t have to switch teams early on to get his record-setting contract deal. McGrady, on the other hand, bolted to Orlandoto play with Grant Hill. Can you really blame him? He was in the MVP conversation as recently as 2008, and had been since 2001. If he had a healthy Grant Hill, or more recently a healthy Yao Ming, who knows how deep into the postseason his teams may have reached.

Tracy McGrady was a victim of circumstance, a casualty of “too-much-too-soon.” He should be a Hall-of-Famer. His career numbers attest to it. He may have worn down quickly, but remember that he started right out of high school. His body has traveled far further than the normal NBA 31-year-old.

Perhaps we have mistaken his casual gait on the court for a lack of effort. Perhaps his highlight-making dunks and untapped range were overshadowed by his unfortunate fate of running into sneaky-good Detroit, Milwaukee, and Charlotteteams early in his career. Truth is, I’m not sure why he has never been in our favor.

But now, he is trade bait because of his albatross contract. He may end up in New York, but he won't play there. Yet again, Tracy McGrady will be an afterthought. A rider. An addition to history books that were already written without him.

We were all lucky to have witnessed Tracy McGrady play. Hall of Fame be damned.

Ron Artest Revisited

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 22:17:00 +0000

DEAR MR. ARTEST-

I see you.

Though it may be too early to give a verdict on your performance thus far, we can clearly state in Lakerland that you have acclimated. You work in this system.

You fit.

Your defensive tenacity is a positive, welcomed infusion. You cause chaos for opposing teams, but not in a “gamble-the-passing-lanes” sort of way. Instead, you step up to the best player, and defiantly state, “You are NOT getting any. Not today.”

You body players just enough to not get called for fouls, and you reach just when the ball-handler thinks, “there’s no way he’d reach in on me here.” You’re tough, you’re passionate, and you come to ball, no doubt about it.

I still think you’re crazy, but you’re crazy in the most perfect and productive way for this Laker team.

Your quirkiness, which stood out in Middle-America as maniacal and asylum-worthy, is nothing more than a side-note in the ridiculousness that is Los Angeles media. So, you went on the Jimmy Kimmel Show in your boxers? Harmless. At least you weren’t naked. Besides, who watches that show anymore? So, you are backing Tiger amidst all his turmoil? Yeah, you and everyone else ESPN polled.

So, you drank Hennessy at halftime? Says Kobe, “well, he’s not doing it any more, so who cares?” *

Come to think of it, in a city that has dealt with OJ and Oprah, hellfire, riots and Rodney King, a city that is in constant threat of plummeting into the deep Pacific at a moment’s notice, what on Earth could Ron Artest do to freak us out more than we already are?

***

Now, Mister Artest, this is ordinarily the section where I would offer you my critiques. If I were extraordinarily critical, I could mention your spotty 3-point shooting. However, you have improved vastly in that area since the season began, and you seem to understand when, in the Triangle Offense, it is your turn to shoot. You have that going for you, and yes, it is nice.

Also, I could mention your complete lack of a vertical. I mean, honestly, you would be pressed to fit a Sports Illustrated under that leap of yours…and you’ve noticed how thinned-out those have gotten, haven’t you? You hang-a less than Mbenga, you’ve got less vert than Kurt. This limits your ability to drive to the basket effectively, since you can’t elevate over the longer defenders. And this provides bloggers with the opportunity to rhyme, evidently.

But you more than make it up in your “East-West” movement, as John Hollinger would say. I have never seen someone shut down the baseline, step in for a charge, or hound wispy point guards better at the 3-spot. And yes, I understand that means little to the recreational NBA fan.

But I’ve noticed, Mister Artest. It brings the Laker D together, and fills the seams where there once was free reign. And for that, I appreciate your work, and I know I’m not alone.

***

It may be my homer bias, but it seems to me like the Lakers have emerged to be head-and-shoulders ahead of the rest of the West this season. Denver is chippy and explosive, but also volatile and prone to sulking, much like JR Smith himself. Phoenix has impressed early this season, but they have absolutely no answer for the Lakers’ big men. They have been defeated handily each time the two teams faced.

And San Antonio? I say they are still the West’s #2, regardless of their early record. They will rally heading into the playoffs, just you watch. But there’s no way a team with Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili can play for the long haul, or can match up for a playoff series against LA, especially if they have to first go through a team like Denver, Portland, or even Houston.

(Speaking of Duncan, he has absolutely amazed me this season. He’s so stiff, so arthritic-looking, he could be a spokesman for Ben-Gay…or Viagra, for that matter. And yet he is putting up these amazing numbers. He gets absolutely no air on his jumpers or hook shots, and they seem to come out at all awkward angles, but they go in. For someone so injury-ridden and so obviously lacking in athletic ability, this season is a testament to his basketball know-how and, yes, his greatness.)

So why, you may ask? Why can’t the best of the West see eye-to-eye with the Lakers? It’s because of the Artest-infused mentality towards defense.

It’s a defense that leads the league in opponent field-goal percentage. In three-point field-goal percentage. And with Pau hitting the boards at a career pace, they also lead the league in team rebounds per-game.

Heck, at this point, Hollinger makes up statistics just so the Lakers can lead the league in it*. Yes, the Lakers are even the best in limiting ADJFG%. So, in the words of Mr. Artest, suck on that, haters.

***

At the beginning of the season, I predicted the Lakers would win 69 games. That would set a high-water mark for the already esteemed franchise. The dilution of talent in the league, and the lack of quality opponents in their division and conference helped raise this number. Also, I figured that if the Lakers won their December 12^th match against Utah, they would challenge the 33-game win streak record. (They didn’t.)

These are ballsy claims. I realize this.

But here is my rationale: the Lakers are the only team of The Big Four to not take away from their core. Cleveland is a mess right now because Shaq is clogging up the middle and demanding the ball, like always, and their offense revolves around giving LeBron James the ball and scramming. The Celtics have lacked ever since Kevin Garnett got injured, and no amount of amazing Rajon Rondo games can help that. Orlando has yet to assimilate Vince Carter into the mix completely, and they are facing another stretch without Jameer Nelson, a player that could be considered the best on that talented team.

So, even if you argue that the Lakers were better with Trevor Ariza (which I won’t) they still have their top five players operating at peak performance. And since those other teams are in the Eastern Conference, the Lakers don’t have to see them too often. They can, in essence, beat each other up until the Finals, while the Lakers face the Kings and Timberwolves of the league.

This should give you, Mister Artest, the maximum amount of time to completely grasp this Laker team, and perform at your peak. I am already impressed, but I believe there’s more you can show us.

And, just for now, stay out of the Tiger Woods mess, won’t you?

____________________________________________

*essentially.

*From ESPN.com: ^ AFG%: Adjusted FG Percentage = [(PTS - FTM)/FGA]/2. ADJFG% measures shooting efficiency by taking into account the total points a player produces through his field goal attempts. The intention of this adjustment is largely to evaluate the impact of three-point shooting. For ex: If Shaquille O'Neal has 3-5 FG, all two-point shots for 6 points, then his ADJ FG% = [(6/5)]/2 = .600. Meanwhile, if Ray Allen is 2-5 FG, but his 2 FGM are both three-pointers for 6 points, then his ADJ FG% = [(6/5)]/2 = .600

Searching in Mid-December: The NBA for Purists

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:57:00 +0000

This is the greatest time of the season for the NBA.

Why? It’s the law of large numbers. It’s The Witching Hourand The Doldrums. It’s the time of the year when so many games have been played, so many blowouts, lucky shots, and spectacular plays have already happened, and yet the end of the season still seems so ridiculously far away.

It’s here where the magic lies in NBA basketball, when you will see some of the purest battles this sport can offer. Mid-December is why I’m an NBA fan.

I’m sorry, let me explain: Basketball is very Zen. (Yes, this is why Phil does so well in this sport.)

Teams are constantly striving to achieve a “happy stasis” of high-level performance. They want to produce, to score, to win, and to do so relatively easily and with minimal effort. They want to create a vibe of success, something ‘60’s hipsters and Bill Walton could definitely understand.

That’s the essence of the sport, right there. The happy stasis, the success vibe.

Well, at this point in the season, the players and the teams are so damn weary of traveling, living

out of strange hotels, eating hit-or-miss room service, and getting themselves “up” for a high-level performance every other night that they reach this delirium, an NBA coma.

All they see is the court, all they know is basketball, because that’s the only thing familiar to them.

It’s a miserable and tedious process for the players….it's almost like war, what with the bunkering down and the constant time spent atpeak ability. And yes, sometimes teams just don’t show up for games. (New Orleans, I’m looking at you.)

But other times, you turn on the TV and two mid- or lower-level teams are just flowing. In a game that absolutely no one is watching,the two teams are passing fluidly, playing smart D, and hitting their shots cleanly. Every cut, every decision is the right one, and each bucket is countered, back and forth, until the tension is so constant and heavy that you can’t even feel it anymore. No one argues, no whistles blow. There are only attacks, counters, adjustments, and competition of the highest caliber. And everything else just fades away.

At that precise moment, it’s basketball euphoria. It’s beautiful.

Because we forget sometimes that these players in the NBA -the Vince Carters, the Charlie Villanuevas, and the other names we’ve heard repeatedly - they are more than multimillionaire personalities. They were, for a majority of their lives, better at basketball than anyone else they ever faced. And it’s not like basketball only took up alittle of their time growing up. They were constantly superior to everyone for most of their lives at the sole activity they participated in. I mean, imagine what that

does to someone psychologically!

Furthermore, these cream-of-the-crop players, their only job right now is to stay as fit as possible. And they get paid to do that. (Sometimes I wonder, what if someone gave me truckloads of money to get as fit as possible, rather than to work at a gym and write columns. I’d look like a completely different person. Hell, I’d be a completely different person. Where you punch in and out at your job, sitting and saturating in your cubicle, they are working out. Constantly. It blows themind.)

And in addition to getting in incredible shape, these human Megatrons practice and fine-tune over and over again, perfecting basketball. Striving to get better at something they were the best in the world in doing. Yes, I’m a paying customer, why do you ask?

And – this is my point – this is the time in the season when all the going-out, the parties, the family drama, the diaper-changing and vacuuming fades away, and these players are left with no distractions other than simply to do what they do best. They are currently living in a snow-globe of competition, of trying to be better. It encompasses their entire world. I would almost feel bad for them, if not for the fact that it’s absolutely amazing to watch.

And the rediculous amounts of money we throw at them.

But for a couple games in mid-December, all the production, all the glamour of television advertisements, Laker Girls and halftime shows just fades. It’s all meaningless.

At that point, you could be watching the Nets face the Kings, and it doesn’t matter. It’s the greatest thing you’ve ever seen. That’s why I watch, for these rare moments in mid-December.

A Guide to the Lakers' Ring Ceremony

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:00:00 +0000

It was like a first date.

Awkward but exciting, familiar but rusty. It was a successful fumbling with the best intentions. And everyone played defense with their hands.

The Lakers took the floor of the Staples Centeron Tuesday night, and received their championship rings in front of a crowd that seemed weary from anticipation. Facing the Clippers in a Homecoming-style game that meant far less than the ceremony preceding it, the Lakers took care of business in a methodical and business-like fashion.

Kobe’s shot was falling, even though his layups weren’t, and the rest he took this summer was obvious in his play. Lamar Odom showed off a vastly improved outside shot, and Andrew Bynum was producing down low against Marcus Camby and Chris Kaman. Add the fact that Ron Artest didn’t come after me in the stands, and all told it was a successful evening.

But the real story here was the ring ceremony.

The ceremony was a celebration of Laker-dom, featuring numerous greats both past and present. Subdued but appreciative, it was a time of reflection for the Laker staff and crowd alike. Time was allotted for each of the last eight championship teams to pay their respects to the new champions, serving as a “rite of passage” for these players’ inclusion into Laker history. The entire process was thick with tradition, and respect.

But, it was a Laker game, so there was a fair share of purple and gold craziness to accompany the reverence. It is LA, after all. You can’t have the cake without the sugar rush.

What follows is my first-hand account of the commotion and camaraderie that is Lakers Opening Night, 2009.

6:25 pm – Driving on the 10 freeway to Staples. Between the traffic, the 55 MPH winds, and dodging the resulting debris, it seems like we were entering into one of Dante’s circles of Hell. This is the funny thing about Southern California: we don’t really get weather, but once every year we get our hair mussed up by these random winds that come from nowhere, and hit us for no good reason. But hey, we spawned Perez Hilton, so maybe it’s payback from the Gods. If so, I can understand that.

6:30 pm – Downtown is a mess. Between the Michael Jackson movie premier, and the Laker ring presentation/season opener, the traffic around Staples moves more slowly than a grandma going uphill. Though it is amusing to see the bus-sized black Hummers and Escalades inching along, while I assume their drivers are sitting, peeved, behind their negative-10 tinted windows.

The big parking lot across from Staples is closed down for some reason. This jacks up the prices of all the lots in the surrounding areas, so I end up shelling out $20 for a double-parked spot a solid four blocks away. And I nearly kill myself crossing the street/running through traffic.

The Jackson premier is in the Nokia Center, an outdoor amphitheater directly across from Staples on the Magic Statue side. In an attempt to classy-up the movie opening, the producers decided to put up a gigantic outdoor stage - complete with searchlights and six full hanging chandeliers. In an effort to completely destroy the mood, God decided to make the winds funnel down the corridor between the Staples Center and the Nokia Center, blowing the living hell out of the whole production, and making the chandeliers swing wildly around like gigantic lawn darts. I ducked into the ESPN Zone to get a beer.

6:33 pm – Cavs getting spackled by the Celtics. Good to see my analytical predictions in action. Props to the fellow who checked out the blog on his IPhone next to me, and to the two hyper ladies who shared an awful champagne-and-grapefruit-vodka, NBA-sponsored drink with me. Good thing it was free.

6:35 pm – I pass Michael Cooper outside ESPN Zone. I said, “Sup, Coop!” and he said “Sup!” back. Still my favorite player of all time, and he still looks like he could throw down a Coop-a-loop from Magic.

7:10 – Finally make it into Staples and take our seats. After giving a hug to my favorite usher and catching up with some friends, I see the two Kardashian girls (Kim and Khloe) saunter in and settle into their seats…two rows in front of us. I say, “Welcome to the Laker family!” Khloe says “Thank you!”

I then spend the next couple minutes convincing my father that Hollywoodis, sadly, bigger than the Lakers, and that is why we are currently getting mobbed by people wanting some Kardashian action. (Kardashi-action?)

7:21 pm – The Lakers and the Clippers are warming up, but then the Lakers video cues up on the Jumbotron, and the Clippers follow suit by heading back to the locker rooms. This all must be very strange for them…another team getting championship rings on their home floor. It’s like a party being thrown at your house, but you’re not invited.

And, on that matter, I lament the fact that Blake “Superior” Griffin is out. I don’t care that he plays for the worst franchise in professional sports. Whenever a league’s top draft pick is out of action for opening night, it hurts that league. Unfortunately, the NBA has had that distinction for two of the last three years. Blake has the potential to be a 22/12 powerhouse. I hope for a quick and full healing process for the fellow who put down the nastiest dunk of the preseason.

7:23 pm – The Larry O’Brien trophy is awkwardly wheeled out to center court, as is Commissioner David Stern. The Commish makes a bungled and haphazard speech that I believe he made up on the spot. Honestly, he’s done this speech every year. How does he not know it by heart? It should be like Mad Libs to him by now…just fill “Lakers” in the blank spots, buddy. We can only tell he’s done when he walks off the court and hands in his microphone.

7:25 pm – The Lakers parade out the past champions. In order:

-Jerry West, 1972

-Norm Nixon, 1980

-Jamaal Wilkes, 1982

-Big Game James Worthy, 1985

-Coop, 1987

-Magic, 1988

-AC Green, 2000

-Rick Fox, 2001 (I think…people were still cheering for Magic. Could have been anyone.)

-Robert Horry, 2002 (Creepy – he is standing exactly where he hit The Horry Shot. And I am standing where I was, too. Should we hug?)

Magic addresses the crowd, thanks them, and recognizes Jerry Buss in his private luxury box. Yes, Jerry should be at center court with his players. But we all know he is eccentric and aloof, and we give him the standing ovation anyway. Personally, I’m surprised he showed up, and wasn’t at a casino, playing poker somewhere.

The whole presentation is classy, classy, classy. Everyone is acknowledged, and in turn they all acknowledge the current Laker team and the fans. It is warm and fuzzy, like a B-Grade romantic comedy, except Matthew McConaughey is thankfully MIA. At first, I was worried about the absence of Tex Winter, the legendary architect of the Triangle Offense and, in my opinion, basketball royalty. But at the end of the third quarter, he was led by four Laker Girls to center court, where he received his ring along with one of the most heartfelt extended standing ovations I’ve ever seen. (Stay healthy, Tex.)

7:29 pm – They start handing out the rings to Laker personnel. First guy up: the massage therapist, a wormy little dude who looks wholly out of place and nervous. They proceed through the trainers and assistant coaches, eventually reaching Phil Jackson, who makes sure to shake the hand of every person announced before him.

7:30 pm – The 08-09 Lakers. In order:

-Adam Morrison (yes, he is first. Since Kobeis last, what exactly does this say?)

-Josh Powell

-DJ MBenga

-Shannon “The Cannon” Brown (I just made that up. You’re welcome.)

-The Machine

-Luke Walton

-Jordan Farmar (so, it looks like they are keeping these three together. Let’s hope for trade purposes.)

-Andrew Bynum

-Lamar Odom

-PauGasol

-Derek Fisher

-KobeBryant

Derek waits for Kobeto come out, and as captains, they go through the roster and shake every player’s hand wholeheartedly. Then, Kobe holds up the pinky to the crowd. I’m guessing it’s his “fourth ring” sign, which comes across as clever and understated. (Could have been another finger, right?)

7:36 pm – Fish addresses the crowd, thanks them for all the continued support, and basically nominates himself for Coach, Commissioner, and President of Player Personnel by just being a wholesome dude. He leads the crowd through the countdown of 3…2…1…BANNER UNVEILING to “I Love LA.” And everything is right in the world.

(Thank goodness they got rid of the LA Avengers banner so they had a place to put this one.)

7:39 pm – As the Legends walk off the floor, Magic makes a stop at the Kardashians, and gives Khloe a big bear hug. Hrm…maybe thatis how I should have welcomed Artest into the Laker family.

7:45 pm – This is the announced tip-off time, and the Clips are just taking the floor for their second warm-up session. And let me say, Baron Davis looks svelte. Slender, agile, and beard-licious. This is a formidable team, and if they make the playoffs by 2012, then I do believe the apocalypse is coming. (Post-game: Baron finishes 1-for-10, 2 points. Maybe he needed the extra weight.)

7:48 pm – Good to see the real refs again. I’m ready to be refreshingly infuriated by them. “The devil you know”, and all that.

7:50 pm – Ron Artest grabs the microphone, and the guy behind me goes “Uh-oh.” He addresses the crowd, and I believe my notes sum it up well: “Artest – Graffiti head – unintelligible speech – probably for the best.”

7:51 pm – Bynum wins the tip, and the 09-10 Laker season begins.

At this point, the game proceeds much as you would think. The Lakers, like a sports car being driven for the first time in six months, are a mess of sloppy energy and misfires, keeping the game just close enough to maintain interest before turning it on in the 4^th.

Other than Denzel walking by the Kim/Khloe tandem and the world nearly exploding, the rest of the night was relatively uneventful.

Heading out of the Staples Centerafter the game, there is no hollering, no Lakers chants. Just a quiet procession back to our vehicles. An opening-night victory is nice, but expected. For the Lakers, their fans, and the franchise and community as a whole, the message is clear. It is time to do business. The regular season has begun.

The Next Movement: Respect for Aged Superstars

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 19:24:00 +0000

Now is the time of the aging superstar.

The veteran MVP. The injured scoring leader. The first-ballot Hall of Famer coming off of the bench. Once upon a time, these players drove the league and led jersey sales. They put up record stats as the face of their franchise and carried their teams deep into the playoffs. They were met with our undying love and adoration.

But now, the latest generation of greats has reached the point when they can no longer produce at the highest level.

It’s difficult to say that you’ve already seen the best out of somebody, already witnessed the culmination of their talents. You’ve idolized this person. Defended them against haters. Found stats that helped prove your case, and referenced historic ballers who kept playing at a high level deep into their golden years, just to keep faith alive.

Like John Stockton. Kareem. And, well…Charles Oakley?

Inside, you know. Call it the end of an era, the passing of the torch. All their skills, all their talents will inevitably decline. It happened before, to the likes of Magic, Bird, and Dr. J…and it happened when they came into the league as well. The new, younger breed will step in, mature, and take the place of the old guard. Like true six-million dollar men, they will jump higher. Run faster. And they will play better than your all-time favorite player.

Inside, you know. It is time for the fresh faces to drive the league. It’s just depends on whether you can let go in time.

* * *

Think back six years ago, to the summer of 2004. Kobe and Shaq had just parted ways, though there was deliberation as to who was better at the time. Kevin Garnett was in Minnesota, having just led the league in double-doubles on his way to the ’04 MVP. Allen Iverson was scoring at a historic pace in Philly, Steve Nash had just left Dirk Nowitzki in Dallas for the valley of the Suns, Tim Duncan was putting up career numbers in San Antonio, and Jason Kidd’s Nets were still the beast of the East.

In a year from now, not one of these players will be producing anywhere near their 2004 levels. Some have already seen a major drop in their production. Others will see a decline soon, probably a drastic one. Other than possibly Kobe, I’d wager that none of these 2004 standouts will be in uniform four years from now.

These guys were the league. They drove revenue. They were in the conversations that included the words “best ever”. They won championships, MVPs, struck fear in their opponents, and produced at unreal levels for over a decade.

Now? An afterthought. Dirk has been a shell of himself after the championship run in 2006. Though Kobe is still putting up stellar numbers, his scoring average is down five PPG from two years ago, and almost ten from the ’05-’06 season. Brittle Nash and Duncan will probably lose major chunks of the season to injury, not to mention Garnett’s already shaky left knee. Iverson, for all his bravado, will probably come off the bench for a .500 team this season. And some say Shaq - quite possibly the best center we will ever see - will actually make the Cavs worse than last year.

Defend them, sure, but enjoy them all you can. In the shadows of the Wades, Dwight Howards, and LeBrons of the world, the days of the aging superstars are numbered.

And just wait until Kevin Durant’s crew really gets going.

I’ve never been satisfied with the way the public tosses aside all-world talent in favor of the Next Big Thing. This is especially true in football, where running backs may lead the league one year, and are cast aside the next (think Larry Johnson, Ladanian Tomlinson, even Steven Jackson…and yes, I realize two of those are NBA names). It just takes a bit longer in basketball.

The toll of 40+ minutes a night, night in and night out. 100+ game seasons. Offseason Olympics. And what do they get once they hit the twilight of their careers?

If you’re the leading scorer of all-time, you get a rocking chair. Anything less, and your enormous ego – the one that helped your confidence thus far - usually gets you ostracized by your team. If all goes well, perhaps you quietly slip away, into the anonymity of team management or car-dealer ownership.

And that is no way for a hero to go down.

* * *

If it were up to me, there would be decorations for later-year players. Something like a life-time achievement award, or stripes for an army general, but while the players are still significant. Roll with me on this one for a minute.

For example, I would retire Kobe’s jersey right now. (Yes, #24. Not #8.) Even with all the drama over his Colorado fiasco, his feuding with Shaq, and his tantrums early-on, there is no denying that he’s delivered for the Laker franchise. Four championships, an MVP, scoring titles, and yes, veteran team leadership.

It’s not commonplace to retire his jersey early. But it’s going to happen eventually, so why not do it when he’s still near the top of his game?

Kobe Bryant defined this decade of basketball. You can’t really argue with that. And in this era of free agency, when players hardly stay with the same team anymore, this would pay tribute to that achievement. If he or, say, Tim Duncan were to get their jerseys raised at the start of next season, as an honor, would you really have a problem with it?

It wouldn’t hurt anyone. It’s respectful. Besides, if

Jordan

can play with a statue of himself outside the United Center, then Kobe can handle seeing his number in the rafters.

Yes, NBA players get the benefit of many aspects of society. They are healthy, famous multi-millionaires who, in their heyday, are celebrated on a global scale. But considering the decades of injuries and financial troubles that so often become a part of their post-basketball lives, I say why not cherish them now. Celebrate them. And, if appropriate, honor your aging superstar in a way that is both considerate and, best of all, genuine.

I’m fairly sure I’m ok with this idea. But don’t worry, Laker fans, Shaq’s jersey can wait.

In Defense of the Refs: An Official Plea

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:13:00 +0000

Being an NBA referee is a thankless job.

You get screamed at. You get in the way. You’re pushed, goaded, bumped, and head-butted. Every time you blow the whistle, someone disagrees with your call. And every time you don’t, well, they disagree with that too.

And the reward? The fans learn your name, just so they can boo your introduction, and yell at you more accurately next game.

These folks are up there with tax collectors and telemarketers when it comes to hatred by the common man. They are constant targets of media scrutiny (this writer included), and are never conveyed in a positive light. Then, one of them happens to be working for the mob, and the wheels fall off the carnival ride.

But let’s take a stroll in their regulation black-pleather Reeboks for a moment. If any of we were to take the abuse of the zebras on a day-to-day basis, we would either check ourselves into the nuthouse or torch our office buildings. Either way, it wouldn’t be too productive to the situation.

I mean, consider your job. Now, consider it in front of 18,000 live fans, most of whom are voicing their concern in ways that are near-criminal in abuse. Perfection is demanded from you, but the job requires both an active interpretation of the rules, and a split-second interpretation of what actually happened in front of you.

Realistically, would you even apply to this job?

The salary for an NBA referee lies between $90,000 and $225,000. While this is hardly poverty-level, consider the travel time, the high-profile nature of the position, the need for level-headedness in the tensest of situations. Throw in the fact that millions of people – literally millions – care about each and every call you make, and demand that you are the most knowledgeable and experienced in your field.

All told, I’d venture that these folks are undercompensated.

* * *

The NBA referees entered into a lockout situation on October 1st of this year. Their replacements (adorned with shameful triple-digit numbers, ew!) have experience in both the college and professional levels, some of whom had been let go by the NBA in the past.

Let me channel Joni Mitchell when I say, “you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.”

I can’t say the new refs were dreadful, though it seemed like they were. I can’t say they made numerous mistakes, though it seemed like they did. In the natural ebb and flow of the game, there appeared to be hiccups aplenty. And I don’t doubt that the calls they made were based on actual events – yes, Andrew Bynum slid his pivot foot – but it seemed like there were just so many of them.

In the game I watched, Stephen Jackson had five fouls in 10 minutes. For a while, there were more whistles than points on the board. Now, how is that entertaining? Would a fan truly go to see this game, if they knew it would be like this?

The NBA: It’s Foul-tastic!

It leads me to believe that, on any given possession, there are a number of violations that could be whistled and aren’t. Players get away with the lesser calls, the “ticky-tack” and the circumstantial. Three seconds in the key, or maybe a screen wasn’t set perfectly. The old guard of referees called only what they absolutely had to, in order to keep the game at its natural progression.

And I guarantee the players used that to their advantage. But the refs knew it, and handled it accordingly, with verbal warnings such as “get out of the key, 21” and “watch that hand-check”, banter that can’t be taught in a three-week preseason seminar.

Now, we are starting at ground zero. This is by-the-book; this is how the refs are taught to call a game. And it’s going to take some time getting used to, as proven by the influx of technical fouls given thus far.

It’s affecting the product. It’s lowering the value of the game. I say, give the refs the money, already, and let’s get back to basketball as usual.

* * *

The real issue here is the fact that the refereeing system needs an upheaval, and public respect is as good a place to begin as any. Before we have a greater level of accountability (the eventual goal here) the public needs to understand that we are getting the best product possible. Take away that level of expertise, and the fans will finally know what they are missing.

The lockout will have a far greater effect than expected - whether or not the effect is eventual positive, well, that remains to be seen.

This is how it’s going to play out: the refs can’t go more than a month or so without pay, especially in this economic climate. Their mortgages and families will become more important than their hard-line stance for a pay increase. They will eventually come back to work, and the triple-digit replacements will be no more.

But if this lockout continues deep into the regular season, the difference in game outcomes will be directly affected. Blown calls will determine games, and they will do so from very early on. Players may be fined and suspended for their arguing, and the top-tier teams will find themselves on the losing side of games they ordinarily would have won.

Basically, cellar-dwellers will begin to beat the elite. Catchy, isn’t it?

As Kenyon Martin said to Fanhouse, "I'm going to get suspended in the first month of the season. I'm going to have 15 technicals in the first month just for the simple fact that [replacement refs] don't know how I run my mouth…The game is going to be terrible with those replacements."

And we’ve only begun the preseason. Think about the player outcry when the games actually matter?

The way to fix all this is simple. Namely, avoid the whole thing, and the sooner the better. Anyone following the preseason now realizes the difference between the top-60 officials and the next batch, and that’s a large, bitter vitamin for the league to swallow. The lockout refs have made their point, and they have done so with remarkable clarity.

The game suffers without us. David Stern, you forced us to prove it. Now you know.

So, give them their money. Call the lockout an extended summer vacation, and let’s forget the whole thing ever happened.

Besides, we miss knowing who we’re heckling.

Old School Love: The Great Western Forum

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 13:42:00 +0000

(In honor of the Lakers heading back to The Forum on Friday night to play one preseason game against the Warriors, here's a post from 10/11/09 discussing the historic arena. If you are looking for the Ron Artest post, see the original Open Letter and the response )

From 1967 until 1999, the Lakers and Kings made the LA Forum their home. Brainchild of the famous owner Jack Kent Cook, the Forum was the seat of stardom, the place for celebrities and royalty alike.

Like a precipice of success, it rose suddenly out of the Inglewood asphalt, lunging immediately upwards like so many LA careers, and upon a foundation of ivory columns, cool shades and blonde hair, it crested skyward to plateau somewhere high overhead. It was the "Wailing Wall" of sports venues, a holy place of fan-dom, an arena where the Gods performed and partied together.

Hey, man, it was the Eighties in LA. It was electric. You have to trust me on this.

The journey to the Forum was much like the descent into a deep dream. From the sullied Inglewood streets, you made your way past the neon beer signs and Spanish billboards, keeping the car doors locked (unfairly) until the tight city walls opened up Hollywood Park. Though it was dark out, the lights gleaned and music was blaring, but never a tune you had heard before.

Suddenly, a barrage of unexpected imagery flashes before you. Amidst a Chevy Nova rolls an unsuspecting Bently, so dark and smooth you almost missed it. The street you were driving on changes from South Prairie to the Avenue of the Champions, and yet you never changed direction. A vendor rushes your window, selling t-shirts of athletes with gigantic heads.

Most of the shirts have "Champs" written on them. In purple.

Planes rumble past you, but you can never tell which direction they're coming from. Then, as you merge through traffic, you can suddenly see the sky. No stars. They're all inside already.

As you pull out of traffic, you see it. The Great Western Forum, a ridiculous round toadstool of a place, with white columns that crest off of the structure like a breaking wave.

And it is massive. Not only that, but there's absolutely nothing around it. A pure anomaly on the LA skyline.

As you walk in, everyone is shouting, hooting, making noise. It's like a tribal ritual, or a school field trip…with 30-year-olds. Security was always jovial in those pre-9/11 days, acting less like the gatekeepers and more like a friendly smack on the ass to get you inside.

The first thing that hits you is the noise. Man, it is loud in here. The place is pure acoustics, the food area all stone and tile, and everyone is shouting something. Plus, the Laker Band can be heard from everywhere.

And they're playing the theme to Rocky. You hear it once, it will never leave you.

Get to your seats, with your assortment of hot dogs and beer, and even in this time of pre-fluorescent lighting, the place is alive with colors. Everything pops, from the orange and yellow seats, to the crazy hair colors, and of course to the Purple and Gold on the floor below.

Every game is a red carpet, with the usual suspect celebrities strolling, nonchalant, past their likewise nonchalant counterparts. This, plus the basketball, was the game. It was a celebration of fame, of success, of enjoyment in gathering to watch the best basketball ever be played. The players, well, they were part of the action.

Not to say that it wasn't a basketball crowd. It's just that everything in the Forum was to excess. When we supported the Lakers, it was a life-consuming ordeal. To cheer was to scream until it was suffocation, and we knew just when to do it. The Forum fans not only knew their rules, they knew their surges, and saw plays develop way before they actually happened.

We were clairvoyant. It makes the actual happening all the more enjoyable.

Leaving the Forum was to leave happy, fulfilled, accomplished. There was a lot of success going on under that roof, and everyone was involved. We were ready for anything, but then again, living with earthquakes will do that to you.
When the LA franchises moved out of the Forum, it was understood. It was an economic inevitability, the next level in a city that was desperate for what's new. What we lost in intimacy we gained in skyboxes and California Pizza Kitchen.

The experience was different; we were now coddled, but the love was still there.

Today, the Forum stands more as a monument to those days in the Eighties. Commercials are shot there, and rock bands still perform. (Not new bands, mind you.) And like the Devil's Tower in Wyoming, it stands, ageless yet aging, a symbolic plateau for an elevated and spiritual time.
Maybe, before it decays like its inspiration in Rome, the Lakers can run through that narrow corridor one last time, to beat those hollow walls with the aura of sweat and success, to spank some hapless opponent till they get stars in their eyes. Let the Great Western Forum breathe success again.

In this time of national turmoil, maybe a little Eighties LA is called for. Besides, we could all use another holy experience.

Reactions to The Open Letter

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:23:00 +0000

“By the way, The guy who wrote the letter emailed me. I cursed him out and he apologized. See , I don't kiss ass. Cont..”

-ThugRaider37 (aka Ron Artest)

First, let me thank Ron Artest for responding to The Open Letter. Through the help of Truehoop.com and the LA Times' Lakers blog, word got out. (UPDATE: It was me who emailed the blog to Ron Artest.) The hope was to put forth a letter of explanation before Ron took The Open Letter out of context, and to provide a little background about myself and Laker fans like me.

Let me state that I will continue to root for Ron Artest throughout this season, no matter his level of dislike for me. Because he is on my favorite team, and that’s how fandom works. Hell, if I can accept Karl Malone, I can accept Ron Artest.

As I realize The Open Letter was taken as a criticism by some, this post is for clarification. It was written with the hope that Ron Artest can become a leader in the locker room, a valuable contributor on the floor, and an eventual champion. But it also touched upon Ron’s history (which is not exactly clean) and the track record of previous players who may not have lived up to their potential in the purple and gold. (See: Isaiah Rider).

It was meant to help Ron get in the right mindset for the upcoming season. It was not meant as a critique. And if some folks took it in that vein, for that I do apologize.

What follows is my e-mail chain with Artest.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Kyle Slavin to shinshinartest (Ron’s Email)
Oct 3 (1 day ago)

Hey Ron-
First of all, welcome to the Lakers. I've been a Laker life-long fan, and I'm pretty stoked at having you join the purple and gold. I think you will fit in and do very well this season, man.

The reason I'm writing you is this: I recently posted "An Open Letter to The Real Ron Artest" that just got linked by ESPN's Truehoop blog. It's a compassionate plea to you, and it's getting some attention.

I'm gonna be straight with you - it is a little critical. I wasn't evil or ill-willed, just very assertive when I stress the importance of playing "right" this year...namely, being a leader and a model veteran, and playing into the system. It wasn't a warning in any way, but I definitely laid down the law.

You can read it for yourself at TSCblogs.com.

So, please read the whole thing. I hope you get the essence that I want you to succeed, and I will definitely be rooting for you (starting Wednesday at the Forum) but that you are entering into something bigger than yourself.

I have a lot of love for this franchise, and I just want you to understand the love - not only that, but the history behind that love - that exists nowhere else in the NBA.

Stay strong, play hard, and you can win this whole city over, brother. You are already going strong. Keep it up, man.

And I hope you're not too upset over the post.

Lakers forever.

-Kyle Slavin
Writer, Creator
TSCblogs.com
-------------------------------------------------------------
First Reply, within 20 minutes:
Shin Shin Coming Soon to me
Oct 3 (1 day ago)

No law when it comes to me.
I let you type critics write and I just keep it hood.
That will never change.
I am not kissing no ones ass because I'm in LA. Suck a cock.
-------------------------------------------------------------
My Response (admittedly, I tried to tone down my syntax into online-speak):
Kyle Slavin to Shin
Oct 3 (1 day ago)

No, no, Ron! I was saying that I really want you to do well, dude! WTF, don't tell me to suck a cock! I wanna ROOT FOR YOU. I want you to SUCCEED, and I want you to WIN US A CHAMPIONSHIP! All these things are good for you! I don't want you to kiss anyone's ass! You're a LAKER now. Act like one!

Jesus, did you read the article?

What the hell man!

-kyle
-------------------------------------------------------------
His response:
Shin Shin Coming Soon to me
Oct 3 (1 day ago)

Ok
Sorry bout that
-------------------------------------------------------------
At this point, I’d like you readers to take a peek at the top of this post. Ron Artest may have cussed me out, but I have not apologized. I stand by my original letter.

It’s a pity that Ron does not realize that I am not a “hater”. Does a “hater” ask him for his best production? Does a “hater” want him to do well? If he is an All-Star this year, both of us are happy. I reiterated many times that I would be rooting for him, urging him to be his best and to lead the Lakers to another Finals berth. And by “lead”, I mean with both his play and his veteran leadership. One would think that these are goals that Artest would have as well.

I am disappointed in the way Artest has either chosen to ignore this point, or missed it completely.

I am not a “hater” Ron. I appreciate your skills and your talent, and I want them to shine in LA. What I do not envy is your lack of appreciation for us fans who look up to you, and wish to get the most out of you.

You should value those fans above the ones that blindly follow you, defending everything you do by rote. That is not a fan base. That is an entourage.

And I only do that for the Lakers.
***
What follows are Ron Artest’s tweets about The Open Letter, and a response to each. Again, my thanks to everyone who brought it up to him.

RT @TheAngelsAnna: LAKERS FAN READ THIS OPEN LETTER TO RON ARTEST - I'm gonna write an open letter to my haters in 5 mins.
(Still waiting on it, Ron. And I’m not a hater.)

By the way, The guy who wrote the letter emailed me. I cursed him out and he apologized. See , I don't kiss ass. Cont..
(Nope, on two counts. I never apologized. And you are currently kissing the asses of your twitter public by misleading them, aren’t you?)

Sometimes people write good things about me and I say suck ....!!! See, I don't care if someone likes or hate me. I love my fam and fans!
(You DON’T suck. That was never my point. And I’m glad that you don’t care. After all, I’m a blogger, and you make millions playing for my favorite team. I definitely would rather be in your shoes. I just wish you were more open to encouragement.)

RT @VioletKanian: how did @thugraider37 respond to the open letter the laker fan wrote him? Ask him
(Ron Artest cussed me out yesterday. It was kinda cool!)

***
In closing, the sole purpose for this whole exercise was the hope that Ron Artest would play well this season. I went to the blogosphere to voice the opinion that a strong character and veteran leadership would go a long way towards that goal, and that the days of tantrums and acting out would not be acceptable. I’m sure his coaches would say the same.

I do wish Ron Artest and his teammates the best of luck this season. And I really hope he makes it to the end of this post to read it. Maybe, just maybe, he will take it to heart.

Lakers forever.

UPDATED
Folks-

I have read your comments, and I can see that I have been less than saintly in my posting on this topic. Though I still believe that Mr. Artest's comments were brash and unwarranted, I see now that I have done my fair share in inviting them upon myself.

I would like to publicly and officially apologize to both Mr. Artest and my readers, not only for airing out my grievances in plain sight, but for bringing any ill feelings towards Mr. Artest. It is not my place to tell any one how to do their job, and I see that I did not treat Mr. Artest with the respect he deserves, not only as a pro, but as I would wish be treated.

I am sorry.

Just as Ron is not bigger than the Lakers, neither am I, and I know I carry much less influence than Ron. Call it excitement/fear/anticipation of the upcoming season, I don't know. But it was not fair, and I realize that. It went too far.

Keep your comments coming. I'm going to be contacting Henry Abbott over at Truehoop soon about putting up a disclaimer concerning my actions leading up to and including this blog post.

Just as players should be accountable, so should we.

Kyle Slavin

An Open Letter to The Real Ron Artest

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:35:00 +0000

This is an open call to The Real Ron Artest. The passionate, well-versed, clever and witty Ron Artest. The one who holds hands, builds houses for troubled families, and takes thirty-someodd kids to a Sparks WNBA game on a whim. The guy who is saying all the right things for the media this offseason, despite more face time than the Kardashians got Booty-time. Yo, Ron. You paying attention?

Great. Now I'd like to call out to The Other Ron Artest. The bench-clearing, flagrant-foul-givin', Palace pouncer that is one part vindication and two parts low blows. The Terrell Owens of the NBA, except after Terrell makes his inevitable foray into the WWE. I'm talking to Ron Artest the enforcer, the shot-hoister, the stat-filler and coach killer.

You both listening? Good. We need each of you on board for this one.

Let me be absolutely clear: you absolutely cannot mess this season up. You fail here, and you will never redeem your career again. You ruin this good thing we have going in LA, and the rest of your basketball days will be tarnished by it. In LA, we fans run deep. We know our basketball, we know our history, and we have more than a passing interest in the Lake Show. We will be here longer than you. We have more influence than you. Win us over, and you will be a Hall of Famer. Lose our faith, and you will never see this level of love again.

Think Cedric Ceballos. Nick Van Exel. Smush Parker. There's a lot of ways this could go, and a lot of ways this could go badly. And Rons, that applies to both of you.

***

Let me first say that we, as a Laker fanbase, have faith in you. We see the skills. Hell, you played in our division for a couple years now, and much of your shot-hocking Iversonian reputation was garnered from the fact you had to carry crap teams that couldn’t score for themselves. You were their only option on offense, and their best defender. We saw it, too. Yes, we want you on our team.

But, as we had both televisions and were conscious this last decade, we’ve all seen what you can do if things don’t go your way. And if they remember you in Chicago, and in Indiana, just think about how they will remember you here. We still get shivers when we hear the name Kermit, and that was over thirty years ago.

As of now, Staples is an antic-free zone. No huffing, no tantrums. Don’t even roll your eyes. Keep your head down and do your damn job. Because you, Rons, have a real coach now, and teammates that will call you on your BS.

In Sacramento and Houston, you were the story no matter what happened. In LA, the Lakers are the story, Kobe is the lead, and you play the enemy who defected to help the Allies. You have our hesitant trust. But we need some collateral from you first, and it needs to come on the hardwood.

Nothing matters more to us, and nothing should matter more to you, than production in purple and gold.

***

So, what is it that we expect out of Ron Artests? Well, we’re not stupid. We know you are good because of your tenacity, Rons. Without that, you wouldn’t be as successful or as capable on the court…you wouldn’t be an All Star. We want you to go balls-out, to be everywhere, to be confident. Cuz that’s you, man! So, dunk on people. Foul hard. Hustle. That’s the guy we signed, we expect that from you, and we will understand the repercussions.

But sometimes, it’s hard to leash in that tenacity.

Basically, we can tolerate a flagrant foul here and there. We can deal with a couple tech’s from arguing calls over the course of a season. We will look past your shorty-shorts. We won’t even mind it if you call out other teams, like when you challenged Houston this offseason, saying you won’t shoot once, just D the hell out of everyone on the court.

We dig that. That’s awesome. And we need that on this Laker team, because if we have one vulnerability, it’s the occasional tendency to be pushed around.

I want you to D-up Andrew Bynum in practice, and teach him to become a force down low. I want you to take Jordan Farmar and Sasha Vujacic into a closed room, emerging only when they have learned defense and rotations. I want you, Luke Walton, and Lamar Odom to go down to the ESPN Zone and buy drinks for people on a Friday night, and not only because it would be hilarious to see.

I want you to praise Phil. I want you to compliment your teammates. Be embarrassed at losses, be humble in victory.

And these are all things that are completely in your power, Rons. These are goals that can be accomplished. And if you do these things, I will promise you now, we will have at least one more championship, and your number will be in the rafters, retired next to the best ballers ever.

How’s that sound to you two?

That is your goal. Positive influence. Leadership. Veteran know-how. Be our Ray Lewis, lead the defensive rotation (but don’t kill anyone). Strike fear in your opponents whenever they head your way. Spread the offense and hit your threes. This is what we ask of you.

And no one cares if you Tweet or not during all this. If it keeps you happy, so be it. Tweet to your heart’s content. But your words will be more powerful with a ring on your finger.

***

There’s a reason I am writing this open letter to both of you. It’s because we Laker fans are not sure which one of you is going to show up. And I’ll be honest: we’re scared of you.

You could single-handedly blow up this Laker championship team. Even though we won playing at about 75% of our potential last season, there are bigger fish to fry this year. Cleveland. Boston. Even San Antonio has gotten better. One tantrum, or one quote about your lack of confidence in the team could upset the balance of this Laker season.

Talent-wise, this is one of the most gifted teams in Laker history, which puts them in the running for the most talented all-time. But sanity-wise? With passive-aggressive Phil at the helm, obsessive-compulsive Kobe leading the charge, and now Ron Artest?

Ron, and other Ron, we don’t need any more jalapeños in this chili. Add some spice, but don’t kill the flavor, please. There are millions of fans and dedicated followers that are holding their breath on your performance, not to mention the 29 other teams that are gunning for the target on the Laker's backs this season. They will test you, they will provoke you. Do not fall victim to being, well, you.

In return, all past transgressions will be forgotten, and you will be warmly welcomed into the arms of the NBA legends.

Which is something I believe all three of us can agree on.

The Great Big Season Preview (Part 3)

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 14:11:00 +0000

Here we go, the final portion of TSC’s 3-part season preview. We’ve already made it through the first 20 teams in Part 1 and Part 2, and we’ve saved many of the heavy hitters for this last post. Again, each team is assigned a memorable quote from Grosse Point Blank and analyzed. Feel free to chat it up and express how wrong we are in the comment section.

10. Paul: [after Jenny Slater has been dismissive towards him] I was just trying to get a little validation for my life. I guess I came up a bit SHORT!

Team: The Orlando Magic. This is in response to Stan Van Gundy using Vince Carter’s signing as an opportunity to say how underappreciated the Magic are by the media. "For a team that went to the Finals, we really haven't gotten the respect teams normally do,'' Van Gundy said. "Based upon what we did last year, I think our players do feel a little underappreciated and under respected.''

Yes, Stan. You have truly been wronged. Not one single media member stood up for you. Just find solace in the fact that you will have a league-high amount of nationally-televised games to prove us wrong.

Oh wait, the television coverage is part of the media? Like, a big part? Like almost all of it? My B.

The Magic earned this blogger’s praise last year with their chess-like approach to the game, which effectively locked down most of the NBA last season. They won 59 games, one off their franchise record from 1995-96. It was an admirable effort – they truly made a quality showing, advancing far further than many of us had expected.

But let’s look at the facts. They were a break-out team last year, and during the Finals they got a lot of coverage. With coverage comes analysis. Dwight Howard’s lack of interior game was exposed, as was the rest of the team’s reliance on the three-pointer. Force them into mid-range jumpers, and the Magic are in trouble.

Plus, this system was absolutely perfect for Hedo Turkoglu. He could sit back and nail open 3’s, and on defense he could afford to let his man drive directly into Dwight’s paint without major repercussions. (In Toronto, he won’t have that luxury. He has reached his peak, mark my words.) So, you add Vince Carter, the former freak show of a dunker. Notice I use the word “former.”

Vince isn’t coach-friendly. He’s not set-offense-friendly. He’s not friendly at all, basically. If asked to rely upon the offense to create his shots for him (as it does for the J.J. Reddick’s and Rashad Lewis’s of the world), he will defiantly say, well, you know where to shove your offense. And he will shoot off-balance twenty-footers while complaining to the refs. And he will not dunk. Trust me, he will not dunk. So have you really improved?

The lineup looks formidable, and they may win around 55 games or so again. But remember, the East is much stronger this year. Stan, sorry buddy, but the secret is out.
Last Season: 59-23 Projected: 55-27

9. Debi: What is this I'm feeling? Is it pain? Panic? Hunger? Am I hungry? Who's hungry?

Team: The Indiana Pacers. Indiana, I implore you, what exactly is your deal? Last year, I boasted that you would upset the high seeds left and right. Oh, wait, that did happen. Awesome. So, what’s with this horrible record?

As a league, we have realized that Danny Granger is a superstar. He was rewarded by an All-Star appearance and the NBA Most-Improved award, and he looks to only improve further in the coming years. But if he toils away on an underachieving team, and no one is there to see it, did he really accomplish anything?

I’m going to state it plainly: the other players on the Pacers are jokes. Space-fillers. Injury-ridden flame-outs and players who never had any promise to begin with. TJ Ford? Mike Dunleavy Jr.? Their maximum ceiling was to act as a team’s sixth-man at best, and even then only while healthy. Which they never are. Roy Hibbert showed his ability to foul out often and quickly. Jeff Foster and Troy Murphy…well, I always get them mixed together, but I know one of them shoots too many 3’s, and neither of them do much more than get offensive rebounds. Which makes sense, since there’s so many misses.

And their off-season acquisitions? An athletic head-case in Dahntay Jones, and an unathletic and under-sized post in Tyler Hansborough. At least they made it easy to root for them.

I’m on your side, Indiana. I really am. I would like nothing more than for Danny Granger to become the most successful Danny since Manning or DeVito. I really wish you had a pass-happy guard like Jameer Nelson or Stave Nash, and a post like Yao or Dwight to keep defenses honest. But you don’t. And you won’t. Your career is going to be a long and tedious splitting of triple-teams and too many 3-pointers, with a field goal % far worse than it should really be.

But no one will be watching, so you can say it just never happened. Cool?
Last Season: 36-46 Projected: 30-52

8. Paul: Okay, well, I'll see you at the "I've peaked and I'm kidding myself" party.

Team: The Cleveland Cavaliers. This quote is so appropriate, it’s spooky. Please don’t paint me as a bitter Laker fan if I say that Shaq is the worst thing that could have happened to Cleveland. Why? First, his resurgence last year was two-parts Phoenix’s training staff, who was able to paste together Grant Hill into a working unit, and one part Steve Nash getting Shaq the ball inches from the hoop. He will have neither of those in Cleveland. Instead, he has a shooting guard playing point, and team full of guys who prefer to shoot than pass.

To be simple, honest and blunt: Cleveland, Shaq is why LeBron will leave you.

Shaq will play 50 games during the regular season, maximum. He will whine and cry when he doesn’t get the ball, and make clever quips about how high his percentage is even though he creates nothing for himself, and about how he really isn’t that out of shape (even though he spent the entire summer filming non-basketball-related TV shows.) Both he and Zydrunas Ilgauskas - who had limited production last year – will miss time at some point, meaning that Anderson Varejao will have to play some center this season.

And this brings me to my favorite point: it means that Leon Powe will back up Varejao. Yes, Cleveland, Leon Powe will spend some time next year playing center on your squad, a team that hopes to win the championship within a one-year window. Him, or J.J. Hickson, but I thought you’d want the 6’9” guy with at least some Finals experience.

It’s an experiment. It’s a gamble. It’s possible that it works out for Cleveland, and O’Neal actually has enough gas left in the tank to battle Dwight in Orlando and KG/Rasheed Wallace/Kendrick Perkins in Boston. But it’s also possible – more so, in my opinion – that the whole ship crashes and burns like a Shaq-shaped Hindenburg.

LeBron is the X-factor, of course. As I said last season, he could average a triple-double this year, he could average 40 ppg, he could be the first dude to lead the league in assists and blocks in the same season. (They didn’t keep block stats for Wilt or Bill Russell.) Anything could happen with ‘Bron, and I wouldn’t be surprised. He is the best day-by-day player I’ve ever seen. Yes. The best. He doesn’t have the killer instinct or sense of the moment that MJ did or Kobe does. He doesn’t have the panache. But if you’re going to see one average game, at any point, and get your maximum money’s worth for a performance, I would pay to see LeBron. Yes I would. And that is why he may be able to nullify whatever bad ju-ju Shaq may bring, and win it all next year. But again, it’s a gamble.

So, back on point, rather than give it another try with your team of happy gunners that set the NBA ablaze last year, a team that is now motivated after it was two games from the NBA Finals…now’s the time you risk it? Really?

As a bitter Lakers fan, I guess all I have to say is…thanks!
Last Season: 66-16 Projected: 63-19

7. Debi: I should have worn a skirt.
Marty: I should have brought my gun.
Debi: What was that?
Marty: Should be fun!

Team: The Memphis Grizzlies. Did you remember they picked up Zach Randolph? Yeah, me neither! And in a full-reversal of position, I actually think this was a good move for them. Yes, Zach plays no defense whatever. True, he hardly passes the ball. But he actually has a couple low-post moves, and is a somewhat reliable scorer thanks to his years of playing on under-achieving teams and garbage minutes.

(On a related note, the Clippers turned this trade – Zach for Quentin Richardson – into Sebastian Telfair and Craig Smith. Not bad, all around. I think both teams got better for it, and it started a series of Q-Rich trades that I found hilarious, like a multi-million-dollar game of hot-potato.)

So, down-low, the Grizzlies sport Zach, Pau Gasol’s brother (who is also better than expected) and first-rounder Hasheem Thabeet. Again, not bad! That’s a solid front line. Better than Anderson Varejao and Leon Powe, right? Thabeet can provide defense as he gets more comfortable with the NBA, as he eventually morphs into a shot-block league leader. (Not yet, but one day I could see it happening.)

The combo of a shot-happy forward and a rebound-and-defense-happy center is one that can work, and both Marc Gasol and Thabeet fit that bill. Add that to the continued development of O.J. Mayo as a shooting guard (his natural position) and Mike Conley (a natural point guard – thank God they solved that guard logjam from last year). And, to round out the starting five, they have Rudy Gay, a 20 ppg forward who just turned 24, who has an ever-improving shooting stroke to compliment an all-around game that any basketball purest would love.

Not bad at all.

I can’t say I see the Grizz improving leaps and bounds this year, since it would take a couple years for this team to mature and gel correctly. Playoffs may be a pipe dream. But gone are the low-20’s win total, the trouble scoring, and the low attendance (once the city of Memphis notices).
Last Season: 23-59 Projected: 32-50

6. Marcella: Don't hang up! Wait! Did ya' read yesterday's offer?
Marty: Hold on a minute.
Marcella: It's in French. It's a Greenpeace boat. It'd be so easy.
Marty: No way! I have scruples.

Team: The Boston Celtics. Okay, stick with me on this. They haven’t improved through their trades and free agent acquisitions, but they have healed. Kevin Garnett is the most important player in the league this year, as his knee is the most important joint…aside from whatever Phil Jackson is smoking. If KG is healthy, the Celts are still favorites, end of story. Ever since they won it all in ’08, no team has yet proved it can beat a healthy Boston, and the Lakers still haven’t proved they can beat them at all. If KG is healthy, Boston gets the nod.

That’s the trouble. How healthy is KG’s knee? He’s still questionable for training camp. Even if he does play the first game of the season, how effective will he be? Rested and refreshed? Gimpy and lacking confidence? Who the hell knows?

But that’s not the secret of this season’s Boston Celtics. The secret is, it doesn’t matter if he’s healthy, as long as KG is on the floor in some form.

Even with a gimpier KG, they will be stronger this year than last, no matter what. And no, not only because of the addition of Rasheed Wallace and Shelden Williams. (They help, but that’s not what sold me.) It’s because of the continuing evolution of Rajon Rondo.

Much like Tony Parker with the Duncan-led Spurs, Rondo is poised to become an elite NBA point guard with considerably less hype than his Derrick Rose or Devin Harris-type counterparts. The improvements he showed in his game, his shot selection, his shooting touch, his defense, and his confidence during the last season were staggering to anyone who paid close attention. His stats improved across the board. He shot over 50% from the field, and a full nine percentage points better from the arc.

More steals, more rebounds, more points per game. And – get this – a full three assists per game more than last year.

And he really showed up for the playoffs. In that epic seven-game series with Chicago, he had five games over 19 points, five games with over 11 assists. That’s big-time, especially considering he is getting paid only $1 million/year (the Laker’s sixth man is making $9 million. It’s Lamar Odom, true, but he’s not even starting.) That’s a bargain at three times the price.

Anyways, I do think that the addition of Rasheed will help them during the regular season, and Shelden Williams will help with depth. Big Baby Glen Davis is a take-him-or-leave-him situation for me, but since he hit that one big shot in the playoffs last year, I guess the Celtics owed him one. So, yeah, throw him a contract, sure why not.

As for their record, I don’t think they can get much better than the 66-16 from two years ago, but the 62-20 from last year sounds about right. Depends on injuries, of course, and exactly how much crazy Rasheed Wallace has left in him.
Last Season: 62-20 Projected: 61-19

5. Debi: You know what you need?
Marty: What?
Debi: Shakabuku.
Marty: You wanna tell me what that means?
Debi: It's a swift, spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever.
Marty: Oh, that'd be good. I think.

Team: The New Jersey Nets. It’s hard to come up with a good story about this team. Yes, Devin Harris is promising as a playmaker, but he’s relied upon to score, and that really shouldn’t be his…thing. Vince Carter is out, not like he was trying hard anyways, and they are left to rebuild around…..?

I’ve never heard of their starting power forward. Honestly. Sean Williams. Never heard of him. That can’t be good, can it?

Okay, let’s drudge through these other players. Courtney Lee is promising:

…He can hit the three, and can obviously finish in the lane. Plus, he’s had Finals experience, and its only his second year in the league. Damn. Well, that makes him the second-most experienced player on the Nets roster. Other than…

…Rafer Alston, the Nets’ back-up point guard, even though he was starting in the Finals last year. I bet he got whiplash from getting tossed that far. The NBA Finals to the NBA dumpster? Gotta feel for the guy. But, at least it completes his Kenny Anderson transformation from streetball legend to afterthought Net point guard.

So, the roster is rounded out with Yi Jianlian and Brook Lopez. I only know Yi because of how Boston fans made fun of him, and Brook because he put up some decent rookie fantasy numbers. If Brook can take his 13 and 8 and make it 16 and 10 this year with a few less fouls, it would be a start. If Yi can stay on the court, that would be an improvement too. Sigh.

Truth be told, the Nets are at least three quality players away from even making the playoffs. I mean, if their goal is to move to Brooklyn and get LeBron, they are making zero progress towards either – the arena won’t be done for another two years, and why would LeBron leave Cleveland for a supporting cast that he can’t even take to the playoffs? He’s on the verge of a championship, and he’d trade that for what is basically an expansion team?

Sorry Nets fans. This will be a tough season. There still are Nets fans, right?
Last Season: 34-48 Projected: 18-64

4. Marty: I'm a professional killer.
Paul: Do you have to do postgraduate work for that?

Team: The Atlanta Hawks. I guess they do need a little more education. I had them picked for a big leap last year, too, after that inspirational 7-game series against the eventual Champs back in 2008. The eventual result was…not so much. Though they did boast the fourth-best record in the East and made it to the second round for the first time in a decade, they were thoroughly trounced by LeBron and the Cavs in four quick, convincing games.

So, they needed a little change, some life at the end of the roster that didn’t involve Von Wafer. And this season, they added what could amount to the two most explosive/unconscious scorers in the league in Jamaal Crawford and rookie Jeff Teague. Oh, and - they added them both to their bench, while keeping their starting five. Let’s just say, the Hawks might be a formidable team this season.

Mike Bibby is proven, and is asked little other than to run the offense and hit a couple open threes. Joe Johnson is a pure scorer, a 20-ppg athlete who can also spread the floor. Mo Evans is a reliable defender and decent shooter, who is still young and spry, but NBA-refined. Josh Smith is an All-Star, a finisher and a near league-leader in both blocks and steals. And Al Hortford is a solid, young center with decent post moves, a perennial 15 and 10 guy who is still hungry after a couple injury-plagued seasons. This is a solid roster, with some special talent.

The odd thing is, the head coach is a defensive specialist. What gives?

Mike Woodson was the architect of the Detroit Pistons’ suffocating defense earlier on this decade. (Imagine what Mike D’Antoni would do with this roster.) The Hawks were middle-road teams both offensively and defensively in terms of efficiency. They can definitely become an offensive powerhouse, if Woodson pushes the pace and lets these young guns run. With the Celtics aging and the Cavs suddenly tied down with an anchor for a center, this doesn’t seem like a bad option. I would love to see a couple more Josh Smith throw-downs:

They will make a better showing in the playoffs if everyone stays healthy, but they need a little more to get past the Magic/Celtics/Cavs into the truly elite.
Last Season: 47-35 Projected: 51-31

3. Martin Q. Blank: It's a poem? See, that's the problem... express yourself, Bob! Go for it.
Bob: "When I feel... quiet... when... I feel... blue..."
Martin Q. Blank: You know, I think that is *terrific*, what you have right there. Really, I liked it, a lot. I wouldn't sell the dealership or anything but, I'm tellin' ya... it's intense!
Bob: There's... more.
Martin Q. Blank: Okay, would ya mind, just skip to the end.
Bob: To... the very end? "For a while."
Martin Q. Blank: Whew. That's good man.

Team: The Denver Nuggets. It’s always good to admit when you are wrong, and everyone, I was wrong about the Nuggets. They made a stellar showing last season, impressed everyone by their gutsy play and deep playoff run, and showed cracks in the Lakers’ armor when they met in the second round. They were probably one Anthony Carter inbounds pass away from knocking off the eventual Champs, and then, who knows? We could be praising the World Champion Magic, Hedo Turkoglu could have re-signed in the offseason, Gore would have won the presidency in 2000, and there would be no hole in the ozone layer now. So, let’s just be glad Carter tossed that pass a little high.

And I’m sold on the Chauncey Billups experiment. He provided the on-court presence that the Nuggets needed to take them from an over-confident and cocky bunch of thugs to an organized and productive basketball team, a team that believes in the system they were running.

Though they were still a little cocky. Remember when JR Smith hit that big three, and was flexing and strutting down the court, shouting at the Lakers and the crowd in Game 4? I remember saying “man, that is gonna look so stupid if the Lakers win this series.”

So, JR. How does it look? You proud you did that now?

I’m going to take this opportunity to provide a brief aside about boasts and showmanship. Never, never ever boast until the deal is done. It’s part of karma, and the Gods will find a way to strike you down if you tempt fate. You know why Kobe stopped doing that “blowing the smoke away from his burning hot hand” thing after he hit his big shots? Because every time he did it, the Lakers lost the game by some fluke or crazy play. Maybe it provides a spark under the opponents. Maybe there really is a God of “Don’t Be An Ass” (I’d like to think there is.) Whatever the reason, I would hesitate to chicken-strut unless you truly accomplished something. And as big as Game 4 is, JR, it’s still just the second round. Act like you’ve been there before.

Sorry. I think that may have pissed me off at the time.

Moving forward, I think the Nuggets have another season of high-level production in them. Birdman played out of his mind last season, and Kenyon Martin was actually productive in a set system for the first time since his second year as a pro. Nene…don’t even get me started about Nene. He could be an All-Star. And all this is before I even mention Carmelo Anthony. (Yes, he disappeared last playoffs, but what are the chances that happens again?)

They’re not the Hornets or Jazz of two years ago, since their window is exactly as big as Chauncey is old, and it may take some time before rookie Ty Lawson gets adjusted. They could get a maximum of two more years out of Chauncey before he goes back to whatever bridge he was guarding.

Just kidding, he’s not that ugly. Close, but not that bad.
Last Season: 54-28 Projected: 56-26

2. Mr. Newberry: Did I have you figured wrong?
Marty: I don't know - I mean, I hope so.
Mr. Newberry: I visualized you in a haze as one of those slackster, flannel-wearing, coffee-house misanthropes I've been seeing in Newsweek.

Team: The Toronto Raptors. What I like: their off-season pickups. They made all the right moves, took the USC standout DeMar DeRosan (who has twice as many capital letters as you) in the draft, and acquired the gunner Jarrett Jack and the near-All-Star Hedo Turkoglu off of the best seasons of their respective careers. What I don’t like: that may mean they have nowhere to go but down from here.

Hedo is somewhere between 32 and 35. We’ll never really know his true age. Even last season, we could see his trouble guarding the nimbler Trevor Ariza and other speedy guards as they put the ball on the floor. He can still be a productive player, but may have to rely on others creating shots on the perimeter for him. He definitely won’t be a 19/5/5 guy like he was two years ago.

And Jarrett Jack? He got some crazy burn on the injury-ridden Indiana Pacers last year. He’s a solid player and everything, but his stats are inflated, and the Raptors will be sorely disappointed if they are expecting 15-ppg from him. (I partly think they just wanted him on their roster for his pornstar-esque name.)

Also, I am not sold on the current roster, before the new additions. Throwing all that money at Andrea Bargnani? First, that’s a girl’s name. Second, as I said before, there’s a fundamental flaw with centers that shoot threes. (Namely, they’re not in there to rebound their misses, no matter how many they make.) Third, Bargnani will never be an All-Star, and if you’re building a team around Chris Bosh, you need a solid defender/rebounder on the other block. Imagine if Toronto got Hasheem Thabeet instead of DeMar DeRosen. Put Thabeet and Bosh at the border, I guarantee you no contraband is getting in OR out of Canada.

I’m not sure Jose Calderon is as good as his hype, but he’s most certainly a team-controlling point guard. The other additions - Amir Johnson and Marco Bellini - add depth at both guard and forward, and Johnson will provide bench energy while Bellini can pair with Bargnani for a reality show about gangly white Italians that don’t shave much.
Last Season: 33-49 Projected: 43-39, and playoffs.

And finally…

1. Victim: Whatever I'm doing you don't like... I'll stop doing it.
Marty: It's not me.

Team: The Los Angeles Lakers. You know I’m a Laker fan, so this might get lengthy. And myopic. But I’ll try to be unbiased…until we get to the Luke Walton part.

The Lakers did the right thing this off-season with the Ron Artest acquisition, and here’s why. Let’s get out the bullet points:

-You need a certain level of crazy on any team. You need someone who is willing to think outside the box, to get in the face of someone who may be bullying you. The Lakers got tougher last year, but were still susceptible to runs from opponents when they got physical. The Finals two years ago was the perfect example. Leon Powe will not get twenty-someodd points on a team with Ron Artest on it.

-You can’t doubt his motivation. It is obvious he cares about winning, which actually trumps a lot of his “question mark” characteristics for me. I just want to see him keep that mindframe as the Lake Show progresses deeper into the playoffs. You’re a role player now, Ron. Take a page out of Horry’s playbook and understand that you may need to stand on the weak side and wait for the ball in order for your team to win.

-He can shoot, and his FG% is deceiving. On Sacramento and later on with Houston, he was often the playmaker and the bail-out guy when the shot clock got low. His threes were usually contested, and his drives were against double teams, since there were fewer other options. Obviously, that will happen less this go-round. I am interested to see what his three-point percentage looks like at the end of the year, and I’d wager it’s significantly better.

-Finally, Trevor Ariza was a nice role player, and definitely came up big for us many times throughout the last two seasons. I will miss him. But he will never be an All-Star. The Lakers are getting an All-Star with no injury history at the age of 29 for a relatively cheap contract, a four-time Defensive First Team selectee and former Defensive Player of the Year. Trev, well, just can’t match up with that.

So, goodbye Trevor Ariza. I’ll honor your departure with my favorite Trev moment, a game I was actually at, on Christmas Day two years ago:

Also, resigning Lamar Odom was just as important to the Laker’s repeat efforts as anyone. (Yes, Pau, Phil, Kobe, anyone.) He is an integral part of the team, and when properly motivated, can provide the versatility on defense and the fluidity on offense that makes the Lakers tick. It is instantly obvious in the games Lamar misses. The ball stagnates, the weak side doesn’t rotate, and things just look disjointed.

I’ve always maintained that Lamar could be the best player in the league if he tried. Of course, I also proposed we trade him for Richard Jefferson last season. But if your team doesn’t rely on his production, and uses it instead as a bonus (a “turbo-boost” for slow or ineffective nights) he can be just as valuable as any other player out there. Plus, he can man up against centers and shooting guards alike, something the Richard Jeffersons of the league can’t claim to do.

Real question marks, in my mind, are Andrew Bynum, Luke Walton, and Jordan Farmar. These are three players that can make or break the season. For Bynum, he was at his most effecting setting screens and flashing to the rim, getting offensive boards and providing help-side D. But after his injury, he started trying to create for himself, taking short jumpers and holding the ball a bit too long. If he can let Kobe’s drives and Pau’s court vision create the shots for him, he will have a much more pleasant time out there, and Phil will probably let him see more time.

Luke can’t really run anymore. Yeah, I know, it’s sad. He has to rely on up-fakes and floaters in order to get his points. But he can still be a helpful cog in the offense. If he works on his shooting stroke this offseason, and can provide a reliable threat from the arc, he can take Trevor’s spot as the open man outside. And he still has his excellent passing skills, which almost makes up for the fact that an injured turtle could blow by him at this point.

And Farmar, unless he has a career year, is done as a Laker. Shannon Brown’s signing pretty much validates that he is the heir apparent to Derek Fisher’s spot. Besides, Brown is a better shooter, defender, and athlete than Farmar could ever be. Either Farmar starts making everything from outside, or it’s time to look for a trade. Which is also sad, but sometimes a third point guard is like a third nipple…it’s neat, but really, how much do you use it?

As for Kobe, the most polarizing figure on the sports landscape this side of Michael Vick, everyone is making issue of his rising odometer. And it is completely true: Kobe is on the trailing end of his career. It’s undeniable. But is he going to force the issue and hoist 28 shots a game, breaking set offenses as he did in 2004? Or is he going to pace his game, save energy and choose his spots as he did last year, taking a page directly out of Jordan’s 1998 handbook? I believe the latter is true. His production is sure to go down this year, but I’m not sure his efficiency will.

Kobe will still go for 50 at some point this season, and it is interesting to see what he can do with a full summer’s rest for the first time in two years. But I don’t expect him to average over 26 ppg. Hopefully, he won’t have to.

The Lakers, as the defending champs, have the largest target on their backs this season. They also made arguably the biggest off-season move, and as they are the Lakers, the coverage they receive this next season will possibly be the most in their history. Every game will be dissected, every minor quibble blown out of proportion. But they are also the favorites out of the West, and it seems that anything less than a back-to-back will be considered a failure.

The bar is high. But the talent is obvious. And as for the rest of the teams, we here at TSCblogs are excited to see how it all plays out.
Last Season: 65-17 Projected: 69-13

The Great Big Season Preview (Part 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:04:00 +0000

This is Part 2 of a 3-part series. You can find the original post here. The final posting will be made in the next couple days, so check back here. Each NBA team is assigned a Gross Pointe Blank quote, and analyzed.

19. Debi: You're a psychopath.
Marty: No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for *money*. It's a *job*. That didn't come out right.

Team: The San Antonio Spurs, and their mechanical, surgical style of mercilessly doing everything perfectly. God damn them. As a Laker fan, I loathe every awesome move they make. To jump movies here, it’s like in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, when the human STD Aldous Snow nails Peter’s “Vampire Puppet Musical” idea by saying it’s “ like a dark, gothic Neil Diamond” and Peter just is in distress at how perfectly it nails his intentions.

(Sidenote: I don't care how drugged up and foreign Russell Brand is. HE IS HILARIOUS. I mean, look at Kimmel try and stay up with him. And the audition scene from Sarah Marshall? I think it was funnier than the whole movie combined. Just sayin. Moving on...)

I hate everything the Spurs are about. They were the steely, lifeless opponents of my Lakers for so long. But sometimes, as a basketball fan, you have to look at your opponent and say “That’s, like, EXACTLY what I was going for. F***, you’re cool!” and be in awe and disappointed by that realization at the same time. That’s the Spurs.

The Richard Jefferson move? They provided insurance for the injury-prone Manu Ginobili, adding another slasher/scorer who can hit an open 3 who respects strong-willed coaches and set systems. Before that, they were sitting at #37 in the second round of the draft, and take the strong and versatile DeJuan Blair, the 6’6” forward out of Pitt (with a wingspan of 7’2”!!!!) who was thought to go #13th to the Pacers. Honestly, if there was ever to be another Charles Barkley in this league, Blair is the best prospect. He can finish strong, and “has hands like a vice grip”, as Chad Ford states. He’s sure to get some important minutes as they rest Tim Duncan, who is into the death throes of both a prestigious and poker-faced career.

Definitely a quality off season. Only thing that could derail them is the same as ever, namely injuries sustained from foreign basketball competitions. Someone should do something about that.
Last Season: 54-28 (tenth straight year with 50 wins! Jeebus.) Projected: 56-26

18. Debi: Where are all the good men dead, in the heart or in the head?

Team: The Sacramento Kings. Listen, I blame last year’s horrendous showing on two things: 1) Kevin Martin’s injury-ridden season, and 2) The rest of the team having absolutely nothing to offer. Too blunt?

Seriously, they have a bunch of players with a lot of potential and fan support (Jason Thompson, Beno Udrih, Andres Nocioni) who offer little in actuality. I am of the belief that if you put a panda bear out there instead of Spencer Hawes for 20 minutes a night, he’d average 11 and 7 as well (while driving ratings in the Asian market, too.)

I wish I had better analysis than “these guys just need better players”, but it’s completely true, right? Nocioni is a liability on defense, Francisco Garcia should probably be playing baseball, and there are five guys directly behind Tyreke Evans that I would have taken before him in the draft.

The solution? Get an established player. Ben Gordon would have worked here, or even Rasheed Wallace. Someone to provide accountability to the young gunners, maybe make them slow their roll. You’re just not going to put Bay Area butts in the seats with “meet Omri Casspi on Sunday!”
Last Season: 17-65 Projected: 15-67

17. Marty: Why are you so interested in me going to my high school reunion?
Marcella: I just find it amusing that you came from somewhere.

Team: The Portland Trailblazers, who are going to finally make “The Leap” this season. First, it was genius signing Brandon Roy as your immediate summer priority. Doing so officially makes him the face of your franchise…a young, pleasant, marketable fella who wants nothing more than to win and smile. (He's like me on sinus medication.) It’s not too often that I’m reminded of Magic Johnson in players these days, but if you gave Magic decent-looking jumper instead of his insane court vision, well, Brandon Roy would be close to your end result.

All bro-mances aside, this team is filled with young and promising talent who are all improving together. LaMarcus Aldridge will be an All-Star this year. Rudy Fernandez is going to take Manu Ginobili’s spot as the league’s crafty white foreigner who nails big 3’s and throws down dunks when you least expect it. (Crafty White Foreigner…another good band name.) And if they get any production out of what I hear is a more slender, nimbler Greg Oden…well

Finally, the addition of Andre Miller will fill their hole at the PG, a spot they were filling last year with either Steve Blake or a crash test dummy, I’m not sure which. (They both seem to be making the same face.) And they still nearly made it to the conference finals.

I have nothing but faith in Nate McMillan, and teams in general that hire ex-players to coach for them. And as the Pacific Northwest has little going for it right about now, it’s a good thing the future looks so bright for the Blazers. So let's Bro-Hug it out, Brandon.
Last Season: 54-28 Projected: 56-26

16. Marcella: You know, when you started getting invited to your ten year high school reunion, time is catching up.
Martin Q. Blank: Are you talking about a sense of my own mortality or a fear of death?
Marcella: Well, I never really thought about it quite like that.
Martin Q. Blank: Did you go to yours?
Marcella: Yes, I did. It was just as if everyone had swelled.

Team: The Dallas Mavericks, and their All-Star Starters circa 2001. Except, it’s not 2001. In a previous life, I would have been stoked to see Shawn Marion and Jason Kidd running the break together, converting alley-oops and back-doors. But in 2009, Shawn Marion isn’t a starter anymore, and Jason Kidd lets people go by him like the turnstile at the county fair.

Every player on this team is overrated. Every one. Wait, scratch that…JJ Barea is actually pretty good. But aside from him, Jason Terry is a “chucker” (adj. chuck⋅er, [chuhk-er] to throw or hoist the ball at the basket at any and all opportunities. See: Black Hole.) Josh Howard, when he’s not smoking the reefer or dissing America, is a decent 18 ppg player who thinks he’s a godly 28 ppg diva. And Dirk? I don’t think I’ve seen someone age so quickly since Jimmy Carter left office.

Even Rick Carlisle is depressing. He’s coached both Detroit and Indiana right before their respective downfalls, boasts a career .486 playoff win percentage, and seems to be a perennial 50-32 coach. No more, no less. It’s like shooting a movie with Ben Affleck: he wasn’t your first choice, and he won’t put out the best product, but he’ll fill out the empty space until something else happens. Or you decide to make a different movie.
Last Season: 50-32 Projected: 50-32 (duh.)

15. Mr. Newberry: What have you been doing with your life?
Marty: Uh... professional killer.
Mr. Newberry: Oh! Good for you, it's a... growth industry.

Team: The New Orleans Hornets. I did not expect that out of them last season. I had the Hornets penciled in as challengers for the Conference Title, not barely scraping by as playoff hopefuls. When they are properly motivated, their top six players can compete with anyone. But, as Bill Simmons said, teams seem to give up on Byron Scott after their third year with him. Happened in New Jersey, and it seems to be happening here.

Let’s look at the positives. As long as they have Chris Paul, they have a puncher’s chance at a title. End of story. The little guard with the most utilized off-arm in all of basketball (seriously, every drive he is pushing off) led the league in both assists and steals last season, while averaging an admirable 22 ppg and shooting over 50% from the floor.

That’s an MVP season, right there. But, as they didn’t cross that 50-win threshold, they gave it to Lebron, and I guess you can’t really argue against that.

Here’s the recipe for this season. CP3 will continue to get David West open 15-footers, making him seem far better than he actually is. Copy and paste that last sentence with Peja Stojakovic and corner 3’s. James Posey will continue to do the little things, like scrounge for offensive boards and hit the occasional 3, and will continue to fail at the big ones, like become a reliable scorer and production player.

And the trade of Tyson Chandler for Emeka Okafor? Doesn’t mean much. Both players have failed to inspire me. At best, Okafor will get 2 more dunks a game, and at worst the oft-injured big guy will…continue to get hurt. I think it’s a wash.

(Note and Update: Rasual Butler was just traded to the Clippers for a second-round pick. Now, Rasual Butler is a decent player, and an excellent sixth man. What are the Hornets doing here? What is their goal for this next season? Is there a player coming out in the draft that they really want, and are already tanking for?)
Last Season: 49-33 Projected: 47-35

14. Paul: I've got to get something off my chest. Have you been home to see the old house?
Martin Q. Blank: Yeah. Torn down in the name of convenience.
Paul: Yeah, I brokered the deal
Martin Q. Blank: Oh, wow. Wow.
Paul: I tried to get a family there, but Ultimart made the best offer.
Martin Q. Blank: Well, thank you for profiting on my childhood.

Team: The Golden State Warriors. Seriously, what is going on in the Bay Area? Is the drinking water contaminated with poor choices?

Listen, Chris Mullin. You don’t have a center AND NO ANDRIS BIEDRINS DOES NOT COUNT. You have a power forward in Corey Maggette, who is really a fat small forward, who seems more content getting to the foul line than creating productive offensive possessions. You have a hotheaded small forward in Steven Jackson (see: chucker) who actually has a tattoo of praying hands holding a gun, which is appropriate after his history of gun charges.

(I kid you not. Praying hands, and a GUN. What does this even mean? What message can we take from this? The gun is aimed towards the heavens! What, you wanna shoot GOD, Steven? I'm sure he's more powerful than you, no matter how many 3's you shoot.)

Finally, you have two undersized shooting guards in Monta Ellis and the recently drafted Stephen Curry, one of whom will have to bring up the ball. How will this end?

You need to score about 140 points to win any game. You will either be the most entertaining team in the history of the league, or you will lose so badly so often that they may close down Oakland for good. Which may not be a negative.

Truth be told, Stephen Curry is going to have a nice career in this league. He just seems more at ease on the basketball court than any of his contemporaries. If he wants space for his jumper, he finds it. If he wants to set up his teammate, he does so. Were the Warriors really to cater to his abilities, they’d trade one of their gunners for a good screen-and-roll man. Or they’d trade Curry himself, so he can go be successful elsewhere.

Let’s just say I’d be thoroughly surprised if they threatened to make the playoffs this season.
Last Season: 29-53 Projected: 31-51

13. Martin Q. Blank: Do you *really* believe that there's some stored up conflict that exists between us? There *is* no us. *We* don't exist. So who do you wanna hit, man? It's not me.

Team: The Milwaukee Bucks. Name for me, if you will, three Milwaukee Bucks. I dare you. You know what? If you can name four, you actually live in Milwaukee. That’s the only way.

Milwaukee has made a half-hearted effort to be an NBA team for the last five years. They take the second-tier players discarded by other teams, and collect them. The hodge-podge result is neither cohesive nor is it enjoyable. Their meal ticket, Michael Redd, is following the Glen Rice projection path, namely he is an outside shooter that can’t drive to the hole anymore, so defenders crowd him into a low shooting percentage.

Plus, Redd’s last three seasons’ game totals look like this: 53, 72, 33. Not exactly a reliable option when you only play 62% of your team’s games.

Their off-season additions were admirable, however. Amir Johnson will finally get his time to shine after being stuck behind a crowd of power forwards in Detroit. Roko Ukic was acquired from Toronto, and is a decent and crafty ballhandler who can provide some back-up PG help. Of course, he won’t see much of the court behind Luke Ridnour and draftee Brandon Jennings (who’s gigantic ego may keep him from being content on the bench for long.)

I’ve been a fan of Jennings since he donned the high-top fade in high school, and applauded his trip to Greece to play ball in lieu of a one-year stop at Arizona. His mixed tape has already made the rounds on YouTube, and he has the right amount of cockiness/swagger that can take him far in this league. He just has to keep it in check, and keep from getting hotheaded, like punching out Luc Richard Mbah a Moute or something (which I could totally see happening. The two cultures clashing, it’s inevitable, isn’t it?)

I see another sub-par showing by the Bucks, possibly punctuated by a couple nice Jennings moves, and maybe a couple fans in the arena to actually see it.
Last Season: 34-48 Projected: 28-54

13. Dr. Oatman: Don't kill anybody for a few days. See what it feels like.
Martin Q. Blank: Alright, I'll give it a shot.
Dr. Oatman: No, don't give it a shot! Don't shoot anything!

Team: The Chicago Bulls. Remember that Bulls/Celtics series? Wasn’t that just amazing? I still have chills thinking about it. That series will probably go down as one of the best of our lifetime. Seven games, seven total overtimes, and four games decided by less than four points. Incredible.

So, resigning Ben Gordon was a moot point. It was never gonna happen. He knew it, the Bulls knew it, the whole league knew it. So does that make that amazing 7-game series like the best break-up sex ever? I vote yea.

As the Bulls emerged defeated from that epic character-test of a series, they realized a couple things. First, Derrick Rose is big-time. He can handle the limelight, he can handle the rock. They would be well served to build around him during the upcoming years, a la Portland and Brandon Roy. (Note: it recently came out that Rose only eats chicken, and nothing else. How could you not like this guy?)

I mean, this video is some fine work for a rookie point guard:

Second, Joakim Noah does not stink out loud, as previously thought. He is of championship pedigree at Florida, and although he looks like a cross between Bigfoot and Ghandi, he is fundamentally sound on the low block. And he never stops hustling, which is admirable. Oh - and a big plus, he cussed out Ben Wallace, which is highly admirable. (I’ve been waiting years to cuss out Ben Wallace.) Noah, I believe, was a big part of the change in attitude in Chicago, where they were just tired of rolling over for the other East powerhouses.

Now, if they can only find a replacement for the corpse that is Brad Miller, and give Ty Thomas some of whatever Tough Juice Caron Butler was drinking in 2007, we may have a decent challenger on our hands.
Last Season: 41-41 Projected: 44-38

12. Mr. Grocer: Here's the new stuff, kid. Durazac 15. Makes Prozac seem like a decaf latte. Want a couple? I've got jars.
Marty: I don't do that stuff anymore.
Mr. Grocer: No wonder you got the shakes. And don't say "do it," because I don't "do it." I *ingest* it, on orders from my neurophysiologist. It's legal. In five years they'll be putting it in the water for the citizens, like fluoride.

Team: The Washington Wizards. They have everything, EVERYTHING riding on Gilbert Arenas. Word has it that Gil is stronger and quicker than he has been in years, throwing down in rec games and leg-pressing 300-someodd pounds with his faulty knee.

The thing is…who knows. Who knows if this is for real. The Wizard fans and everyone in the District have heard this type of jargon for three years now. “Gil is healthier than ever. Gil is back to his old self.” Problem is, that translated to two seasons of non-production, and when your team so heavily relies upon you (both for wins and monetarily…he resigned for big dollars) when those promises don’t produce, you lose your fan base.

The Wizards have to figure out their goals this season. Are they in the middle of a youth movement with Nick Young and JaVale McGee? Or is their window for success still open for the Gil/Antwan Jamison/Caron Butler trio?

I say they give it one more push. If they can incorporate new acquisitions Mike Miller and Randy Foye successfully, and limit DeShawn Stevenson’s playing time to a negative number, they can easily make the playoffs. And, who knows, they may just pull off an upset against one of the Big 3 (Cleveland, Orlando, or Boston). Hey, it worked for Chicago last year.

Weird thing is, with all this talent, if the Wizards lose Brendan Haywood again, they don’t have a backup center. They’d be done. At that point, you may as well send this incarnation of the Wiz to the woodchipper, Fargo-style. Buzzzzzzz.
Last Season: 19-63 Projected: 43-41

11. Debi: So, is there a Mrs. Mysterio?
Martin: No, but I do have a very nice cat?
Debi: Not the same.
Martin : Well, you don't know my cat, it's very demanding.
Debi: It? You don't know if it's a boy or girl?
Martin: I respect its privacy.

Team: The Charlotte Bobcats, appropriately. This was my breakout team of the year last year. Only…that didn’t happen. Gerald Wallace got a couple concussions from jumping and forgetting to land, and it cost him a few weeks. (Seriously, this happened more than once.)

They traded for Vlad Radmanovic, who is like that grandma stuck on a cruise-control 40 MPH in the fast lane. With her blinker on. Boris Diaw’s head is permanently lodged six inches in the sand, and neither of the Nazr Mohommad or Raja Bell trades worked in their favor, either, but I ran out of analogies for being a pansy.

That’s four trades they lost out on, with the one remaining star getting bonked on the head repeatedly. Nice work, Larry Brown and Co. You sure you shouldn’t have held on to Jason Richardson? You sure you wanted EVERY OVERRATED PHOENIX SUN that Steve Nash made seem valuable?

Even despite all that, they still won 35 games, which is impressive, considering they won about two the season prior. And, they had a break-out performance by DJ Augustin, which helps when they try to bargain with Mr. 35% From-The-Field Raymond Felton. (Honestly, what is that guy’s problem? It’s like he got his whole game lawn-mowered since he was at North Carolina. Sean May too. Guess they don’t make Tarheels like they used to.)

Best case scenario? They make the playoffs and get butchered by Boston. Worst case? Well, considering the best-case sounds rough, let’s just close our eyes and wait until they relocate.
Last Season: 35-47 Projected: 25-57

Check back for Part 3, coming soon.

A Great Big Preview of the 2009-10 Season (Part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:33:00 +0000

It’s late August, and that means a couple things to us sports fans. First, flights to Vegas are the cheapest they will be all year. Which is nice. So take advantage accordingly, all you Rain Men out there.

Second, it means there is absolutely nothing happening in the NBA. Ghost towns have more foot traffic at this point. The off-season is particularly “off” at this point, and all the NBA columnists are sunning themselves at their favorite vacation spots, marking the first time many of them have been outside this year. Most of the summer trades have already happened, and teams are focusing on gaining chemistry and camaraderie as training camps and the preseason approaches. NBA news items nowadays are in the "Magic Johnson Turns 50", “JR Smith Got Drunk” or “Steph Did Something Crazy Again” vein.

Basically, if you’re an NBA player and you’re in the news in late August, no good can come of it. You’ve messed up BIG. Take it from me: just lock the Escalade in the garage. Don’t go out. Send your boys out for your Faberge Egg collection, or whatever it is 20-year-old millionaires collect. Have the gardener feed your tigers. Just don’t go outside.

Finally, late August means that school is back in session. The 2009-10 school year. And that means my 10-year high school reunion. Truth be told, I’m only barely comfortable talking about this topic.

I’ve attended three weddings of my high school buddies this summer, and the unfortunate funeral of a college friend. There are several more weddings on the horizon. My D.P.H.S. comrades are buying houses, having babies, filling out their stock portfolios, and having MORE babies.

It was unsettling, watching everyone around me mature into functional human beings. Then I found a couple gray hairs.

Rather than dive into the deep waters of my neurosis, I’m going to take a page out of The Sports Guy’s playbook, and give a report of the upcoming NBA season to the most memorable quotes of Gross Pointe Blank, the best reunion movie of all-time.

A quick background: I’ve had GPB on my Ipod ever since I’ve had an Ipod. Every scene is chock full of nuances that are incredibly wry and hilarious in their subtlety. Now, I know a few of you haven’t see the movie, so I won’t dwell on the minutiae of a twelve-year-old flick. Just…if you have anywhere from three minutes to an hour to kill, you can throw that movie on at any point and be thoroughly amused. More than that…you feel clever for even following the dialogue, which is just fast-paced enough to be snappy, but clean enough to not lose you.
For example, it takes a solid five viewings before I caught that the Guns & Roses “Live and Let Die” turns to Muzak once Martin Blank enters the mini-mart where his house used to be. And his interrogation of the teen behind the counter is classic, and starts out in a fashion appropriate for this article:

Marty: What are you doing here?
Ultimart Carl: I'm doing a double shift. What does it look like?

That being said, Sports Guy, imitation is the highest form of flattery, so don’t be offended I took your idea. I just think I chose a movie better suited for NBA analysis. (BURN.) So without further ado, this is the Official Second Coming Preseason Preview, 2009-10 Edition. (Part Two and Part Three are coming in the next couple days…ten teams each day.)

30. Marty: They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?"

Team: The Phoenix Suns, and the previously untouchable Steve Kerr (circa 2007), who single-handedly dismantled the most revolutionary offense we’ve seen since the Triangle. And that was concocted twenty years ago, recovered from the throes of a Phil Jackson LSD binge on an LA beach. (True story. There has to be at least one “Phil Jackson’s LSD Triangle” band name after this article is posted. It’s a moral imperative, right?)

In this Gross Pointe analogy, Phoenix is Paraguay, and Shaq is the fork…which is appropriate. Sure, Amare Stoudamire is a beast, but he is one season and one Steve Nash back injury away from either a Cedric Ceballos-like downfall or an Antonio McDyess-like ego check. Namely, the only reason McDyess worked in Detroit is because he was willing to accept the lesser role and reduced pay. Amare is far too young and hotheaded for that to happen.

But, if Amare doesn’t learn an efficient post game without relying on his physicality, he will not last long in this league. End of story.

What they SHOULD do in the PHX is to throw some quality money at a high-scoring free agent, either to supplement their front line or their second unit. With Brook Lopez showing some promise, and the recent acquisition of Blake Griffin’s sister, that spells Allen Iverson.

Think about it. The window on any kind of success in Phoenix is literally about one-and-a-half years, with Steve Nash ailing and Grand Hill’s assorted body parts eventually falling off like a satellite upon re-entry. So you grab A.I. for mid-level money, and either start him alongside Nash, J-Richardson, and Amare, or throw him on the bench for a one-two punch with Barbosa. I’d pay to see that. But guess what? It will never happen.
Last Season: 46-36 Projected: 42-40, 9th in West

29. Marty: Debi's house.
Paul: Kinda crept up on you, didn't it?
Marty: No, you drove us here.
Paul: [pause] Yep.

Team: New York Knicks. They are making all these plans for the LeBron sweepstakes, and now it looks like he’s staying in the Cleve (and eating lunch with Little Richard at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, or whatever there is you do there.) And, Dwyane Wade is staying in Miami, most likely. So, when they end up with Chris Bosh and whoever they drafted instead of Brandon Jennings (BIG mistake – Jennings is perfect for NY, no matter what my buddy and Knick enthusiast Eric says), they are still going to need another piece.

It’s savvy free-agent pickups and drafting that makes it in this league, and I haven’t been impressed by the Knicks’ late history on either.

What will it take? I was rooting for them to snag Richard Jefferson instead of San Antonio, but that would ruin their 2010 plan. Also, they should have made a stronger push for Lamar Odom, who would be perfect to pair with David Lee (if he sticks around.) So, what’s their plan? Darko Milicic? Not so much.

Sadly, the only thing that would truly renew the basketball vibe in the NYC is a solid big-name star, preferably through trade. I hate to burst any bubbles, but Nate Robinson being the major cog in your offensive plan is not going to win you many conference championships…especially when you bring him in as a shooting guard. There are current shooting guards that are over a foot taller than him, and this is a position that, in the post-MJ era, is relied upon more than ever in offensive systems.

Nate Rob is like a higher jumping John Starks, or a shorter JR Rider…no better.
Last Season: 32-50 Projected: 35-48

28. Marty: [after shooting a guy three times and bashing his head in with a skillet] Debi, I'm in love with you! And I know we can make this relationship work.

Team: Miami Heat…though this quote seems a dead ringer for Cleveland, at first glance. The Miami love affair is appropriate: Wade has absolutely put his butt on the line for this franchise time and again, but with little to show for it. If the population of Florida can wake up from their Country Kitchen buffets and early bird specials, they may realize that. Any other team would have been three spots out of the playoffs last year. Plus, I’m not sold on Jermaine O’Neal’s dilapidated body anymore at the center position, and I’m pretty sure Wade isn’t either. Jermaine’s game is, like, a sneer. And a 3-inch vertical.

Furthermore, the Heat’s other positions are like a poor-man’s roster of average NBA players. Mario Chalmers has impressed in his rookie season, but he’s too turnover-prone and shoots too poorly to be an effective starter yet. Chris Quinn looks like Tyler Hansborough’s “mini-me” and don‘t tell me he doesn‘t. Yakhouba Diawara is effective in spurts, but played alongside Steven Jackson too long (he will start launching threes at any minute) and Daequan Cook is Jason Richardson without the jumping ability…or scoring ability. Finally, Udonis Haslem is Charles Oakley without the attitude and “bionic man” qualities.

Listen, Miami: Either get Wade a running mate (jury is still out on Michael Beasley, who is the Bullwinkle of the NBA at this point…sleepy and unconcerned) or you’re gonna lose him to free agency. And as he’s my wild-card MVP favorite, this would be a historic loss for you. (Aside from what I told the Knicks a second ago.)

He likes Miami. He wants to STAY in Miami. Make the decision easy for him.
Last Season: 43-39 Projected: 44-38

27. Waitress: What do you want in your omelet, sir?
Marty: Nothing in the omelet, nothing at all.
Waitress: Well, that's not technically an omelet.
Marty: Look, I don't want to get into a semantic argument, I just want the protein.

Team: Los Angeles Clippers. Listen, this is the epitome of an empty omelet: a lot of protein, not much substance. To be honest, I’m excited to see this one play out for the Clippers, and not in that NASCAR-crash kind of way. They have a good squad, a collective of decent players, and if Mike Dunleavy stays at least 50 feet from the bench at all times, they will be fun to watch. They may not win a lot of games, but they will have a decent amount of highlights on SportsCenter, and that’s where they need to start to get LA and the league interested.

On a side note, their failure to get Allen Iverson was the best thing that could have happened to them. He would have eaten up Eric Gordon’s minutes, and at this point the young gunner needs as much burn time as possible. And I’m pretty stoked on the Sebastian Telfair/Ricky Davis/random SF/DeAndre Jordan/Chris Kaman second unit. This could be a break-out year for at least FOUR Clippers: Gordon, Al Thorton (who already had a nice year last year), Jordan, and Blake Griffin (who is the perfect power forward for this system.)

There is a 50% chance of them losing two of their three big guys to injury, in my estimation. Or to swine flu. Or to aliens. I’m just sayin’, it’s the Clippers, all bets are off.
Last Season: 19-63 Projected: 35-47

26. Marty: I'm sorry if I f***ed up your life.

Debi: It's not over yet.

Team: The Minnesota Timberwolves. This team’s situation encapsulates the basic message of the movie: things may be FUBAR’ed right now, but if you keep a good outlook and some menial plans in action, you will end up on top. Or with Minnie Driver. Or on top of Minnie Driver.

The T’wolves have more to be happy about on 8/18/09 than they have had in probably ten years - not since the days of Sam Cassell, Latrell Spreewell, and a youthful and uninjured KG (rather than the straight-up crazy and bench-ridden one.) Cutting ties with Kevin McHale meant moving beyond a six-year losing tradition, and the Kurt Rambis addition is like that first date after a long and tumultuous relationship. You know it won’t be perfect forever, but dammit, it’s new, it’s fresh, and there’s no drama for the time being.

It may be a matter of time before you’re throwing Tupperware at each other, but right NOW, you’re just enjoying having nothing to be bitter about. That’s Kurt Rambis in Minnesota.

As for the new-look team, the depth chart is filled with potential break-out players. Aside from a comeback season from Al Jefferson, I’m expecting big things from Kevin Love – like an 17 and 8 season. Also, word has it that Jonny Flynn has done nothing but impress scouts at pre-draft camps and Summer League, and another year’s experience for Corey Brewer and Ryan Gomes could translate into decent role-player scenarios for both of them. And the underrated pickup of the summer was the addition of my boy Ryan Hollins, a 7-footer who can obviously throw down. Add a potential Ricky Rubio to the situation, and this team begins to show some promise.
Last Season: 24-58 Projected: 32-50

25. Debi: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's, well, broken.

Team: The Detroit Pistons, with a special nod to Ben Wallace. Nothing says “end of an era” better than a previous star and standout signing for the veteran minimum with their old club, if only for the fact they want to retire there. It happened with Byron Scott in LA after his hiatus in Vancouver and Indiana, and it happened countless times in football. It’s basically the death rattle of a franchise…at least for a couple years.

That being said, I expect Detroit to make another playoff appearance, fizzle out in the first round, and continue on the Rodney Stuckey project even though it is so obviously going to end poorly. Plus, they just traded away Amir Johnson, a fan favorite, while adding two over-shooting and under-sized players in Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva. If they were taking odds on it in Vegas, I would put money down on at least one of them being disgruntled within the first three months of the season.

(Quick side-note: how perfectly did that first meeting sum up the relationship between Marty and Debi? Uber-perfectly, that’s how perfectly, thanks for asking. Marty stumbles into Debi’s radio booth after having stalked her in a not-so-discreet fashion, and they say “Hi!” a couple times while awkwardly shaking hands. Then, they jump each other’s faces, making out with the hostility of two hormonal teenagers. Seriously, I think you can hear their impact with each other in that scene. It’s primal, it’s honest, and it’s hilarious…three things I definitely need out of a comedy.)

Anyways, I chalk Detroit in for 38 wins of uninspired basketball, one significant injury or trade demand, and an unheard-of coach being fired at the end of the season.
Last Season: 39-43 Projected: 38-44

24. Marty: How's your sister? Did she ever marry that guy Kenny?
Paul: [incredulous] Kenny?
Marty: Yeah, did that work out...?
Paul: Come on, man, he did three years at Joliet. They put one of those bracelets on him, like a LoJack, they know where he is at all times. I think he's at Pizza Hut now.
Marty: So let's not go there.
Paul: No.

Team: The Houston Rockets. Talk about hitching your wagon to the wrong stars. Ron Artest bolts town, Yao ends up injured…again, and T-Mack hasn’t seen the court regularly for three years. Where are their building blocks? Their prized Moneyball-style production players? It is in my professional opinion, as your columnist of choice, that you take these words to heart: if you rely too much on stats and production feedback, you begin to ignore personality and injury tendencies. How else would you end up with Von Wafer and Ron Artest on the same team last year? Then lose both, then sign Trevor Ariza in what has “trade demand when things get bad” written all over it?

The only positive in this situation is the fact that they lose McGrady off their payroll next season (at a whopping $23 mil this year) and Yao next season (at $17 mil/season with his player option.) Then they can gladly hand off the keys to…Luis Scola?

I mean, give them credit for a solid showing last season. But honestly, Houston, what’s your plan here? You’re gonna blow up quicker than a plotline on Mythbusters.
Last Season: 53-29 Projected: 48-34

23. Martin Q. Blank: You must've done some *naughty* s*** there, Bart. [flips dossier over to Bart]
Martin Q. Blank: There's a contract out on your life. Believe me. I was hired to kill you, but I'm not going to do it. It's either because I'm in love with your daughter or because I have a newfound respect for life.
Mr. Grocer: [following in van] That punk is either in love with that guy's daughter or he has a newfound respect for life.

Team: Totally the OK City Thunder. We need not speak of the unmentionable abandoning of the coffee- and grunge-loving people of the Pacific Northwest. Naughty, naughty s***, indeed.

But let me tell you something. These are the up-and-comers this season. The Jump-Makers. There’s a system in place in OK City that will actually let two separate future All-Stars blossom…together. Kevin Durant is the future of this league, and – fingers crossed – has the potential to be one of those rare Alex English-type players throwing up spectacular numbers in a small market. The NBA needs those. It keeps the locals energized (they feel like they’re in on a secret) and it keeps the out-of-towners clamoring for TV access.

I know that I drop everything when I find out the Thunder are on the tube. I could be juggling babies. Doesn’t matter.

So there’s that, plus the advancement of Russell Westbrook, who is absolutely invigorating to watch play basketball. He keeps his needle at 11, Spinal Tap-style, the entire game. Though he’s relatively small for a combo-guard at 6’3”, he finds his way into the lane with regularity, and has the perfect speed + passing ability to man the break with Durant.

Oh, and check this out:

I think now was the perfect time to let Earl Watson go, and hand the keys to Westbrook. Have him learn how to run the offense, and clear room at the SG for the newly-drafted James Harden to provide the heft Westbrook couldn’t. Pair them with either a Nick Collison/Nenad Krstic/Jeff Green hustle-type player to get boards, and this makes for a potentially dangerous team.

So I’ll leave you with this riddle: if you saw Westbrook, Harden, and Durant coming at you on the break, how quickly would you need a change of pants?
Last Season: 23-59 Projected: 40-42

22. McCullers: You got any ideas how you wanna wax this guy?
Steve: Can't you just say 'kill'? Ya always gotta romanticize it.

Team: Utah Jazz. And it’s an absolute pity. Why? Because they’re wasting the best years of Deron Williams’ career.

Listen, I was as big a fan of Carlos Boozer as the next guy. He was a tough, physical 20/10 dude, with a low center of gravity and a soft 15-footer. That’s a challenging matchup for anyone. But since his last All-Star season, he’s either been injured or has submarined the team’s efforts by hoarding the ball with too little production. And with the subsequent drop-off in production from Andrei Kirilenko, Mehmet Okur, and the twelve-year-old that disguises himself as Ronnie Brewer, well, that leaves you desperate for points. Word has it you need those to win games.

And listen, Utah fans, there’s no way you’re winning anything with Paul Milsap. Yes, he’s a decent player. Give him enough touches, he may even get 18 a game. But that’s it. He won’t hit crunch-time baskets, he won’t swing the ball, he won’t drop your jaw or rally the crowd. And if you put him next to Boozer in the lane, well, I’m not sure you’d have space to shoot protons between them, let alone a beefy point guard.

Utah. Get a damned shooting guard. Please. The Mormons would really appreciate it. At least, do it while Jerry Sloan is still alive.
Last season: 48-34 Projected: 42-40

21. [Martin gives Debi a bouquet of flowers]
Debi: I'll go put these in some rubbing alcohol.

Team: Philadelphia ’76ers. In the words of Lang Whitaker, who couldn’t have said it better: “They know they don’t have a point guard, right?”

That is, unless you count a back-up rookie you took with the 17th pick, Jrue Holiday, about whom MyNBADraft.com states "What position will he play in the NBA? Needs to keep working on his jump shot and ball handling.” So, that’s a no. And cross out Louis Williams, who averaged a whopping 3 assists last year, and is still just an undersized shooting guard. So, Philly will either have to resort to Samuel Dalembert bringing up the ball or…um…

YES!!! Smush Parker is still available. The Smushmobile may be making a stop in Philly. You want a shot-happy hot head who once was so unreliable he made Kobe hoist over 27 shots a game! He’s still got fight in him, too, after he said he’d throw down something fierce on Ron Artest. That’s a fire you want, Philly! You want the Smush!

Wait, but then you’d still not have a point guard.
Last Season: 41-41 Projected: 38-44

Part Two coming up.

The Jamaal Wilkes Minute

noreply@blogger.com (Kyle) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 04:08:00 +0000

Time for a quick update. Look for my regular summer post discussing the off-season acquisitions later in the week.

On Wednesday, 8/12, Henry Abbot of TrueHoop.com made a post detailing the sly and deceptive style of Jamaal Wilkes, and how his game translated well even when guarding guys who outweighed him “by 100 lbs.” or more (linking the original from a Bounce Magazine interview with Alejandro Danois). In a thoughtful manner, he discussed how his background in martial arts aided his positioning and footwork.

No mention of where he learned his free throw style, though:

The Truehoop.com post reminded me of a story from when I was growing up.

My father used to coach our 11-12 Rec league team at the Westchester YMCA, a decent group of kids that actually went undefeated that season. It just so happened that Jamaal Wilkes' son, Omar, was on the team as well. (He actually went on to play at UC Berkley, and did pretty well there.)

We played on Saturdays, and one week we had planned to take a family trip, meaning we were going to miss the game. As my dad was looking for a replacement coach for the week, Jamaal actually volunteered for the job without being asked.

After practice, he showed up to pick up Omar, and had a worried look on his face.

"Now John, is there any system you want me to run, any set plays? And what about defense? How do you like to set up?" He had a million questions, including who our opponent was and whether we had played them before…basically, had he scouted them.

Dad looked at the three-time NBA All-Star and said, "Jamaal, you were in the NBA for twelve years. You played under Wooden and Riley. I'm pretty sure you can handle these twelve-year-olds."

My Dad told him what he could, but I always found it endearing how concerned Jamaal was about mucking up the plans for this little Rec league. It really shows what kind of stand-up guy he is.

And yes, we won the game.

You can learn more about Jamaal Wilkes
Here and Here.