Ron Artest Revisited

DEAR MR. ARTEST-

I see you.

Though it may be too early to give a verdict on your performance thus far, we can clearly state in Lakerland that you have acclimated. You work in this system.

You fit.

Your defensive tenacity is a positive, welcomed infusion. You cause chaos for opposing teams, but not in a “gamble-the-passing-lanes” sort of way. Instead, you step up to the best player, and defiantly state, “You are NOT getting any. Not today.”

You body players just enough to not get called for fouls, and you reach just when the ball-handler thinks, “there’s no way he’d reach in on me here.” You’re tough, you’re passionate, and you come to ball, no doubt about it.

I still think you’re crazy, but you’re crazy in the most perfect and productive way for this Laker team.

Your quirkiness, which stood out in Middle-America as maniacal and asylum-worthy, is nothing more than a side-note in the ridiculousness that is Los Angeles media. So, you went on the Jimmy Kimmel Show in your boxers? Harmless. At least you weren’t naked. Besides, who watches that show anymore? So, you are backing Tiger amidst all his turmoil? Yeah, you and everyone else ESPN polled.

So, you drank Hennessy at halftime? Says Kobe, “well, he’s not doing it any more, so who cares?” *

Come to think of it, in a city that has dealt with OJ and Oprah, hellfire, riots and Rodney King, a city that is in constant threat of plummeting into the deep Pacific at a moment’s notice, what on Earth could Ron Artest do to freak us out more than we already are?

***

Now, Mister Artest, this is ordinarily the section where I would offer you my critiques. If I were extraordinarily critical, I could mention your spotty 3-point shooting. However, you have improved vastly in that area since the season began, and you seem to understand when, in the Triangle Offense, it is your turn to shoot. You have that going for you, and yes, it is nice.

Also, I could mention your complete lack of a vertical. I mean, honestly, you would be pressed to fit a Sports Illustrated under that leap of yours…and you’ve noticed how thinned-out those have gotten, haven’t you? You hang-a less than Mbenga, you’ve got less vert than Kurt. This limits your ability to drive to the basket effectively, since you can’t elevate over the longer defenders. And this provides bloggers with the opportunity to rhyme, evidently.

But you more than make it up in your “East-West” movement, as John Hollinger would say. I have never seen someone shut down the baseline, step in for a charge, or hound wispy point guards better at the 3-spot. And yes, I understand that means little to the recreational NBA fan.

But I’ve noticed, Mister Artest. It brings the Laker D together, and fills the seams where there once was free reign. And for that, I appreciate your work, and I know I’m not alone.

***

It may be my homer bias, but it seems to me like the Lakers have emerged to be head-and-shoulders ahead of the rest of the West this season. Denver is chippy and explosive, but also volatile and prone to sulking, much like JR Smith himself. Phoenix has impressed early this season, but they have absolutely no answer for the Lakers’ big men. They have been defeated handily each time the two teams faced.

And San Antonio? I say they are still the West’s #2, regardless of their early record. They will rally heading into the playoffs, just you watch. But there’s no way a team with Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili can play for the long haul, or can match up for a playoff series against LA, especially if they have to first go through a team like Denver, Portland, or even Houston.

(Speaking of Duncan, he has absolutely amazed me this season. He’s so stiff, so arthritic-looking, he could be a spokesman for Ben-Gay…or Viagra, for that matter. And yet he is putting up these amazing numbers. He gets absolutely no air on his jumpers or hook shots, and they seem to come out at all awkward angles, but they go in. For someone so injury-ridden and so obviously lacking in athletic ability, this season is a testament to his basketball know-how and, yes, his greatness.)

So why, you may ask? Why can’t the best of the West see eye-to-eye with the Lakers? It’s because of the Artest-infused mentality towards defense.

It’s a defense that leads the league in opponent field-goal percentage. In three-point field-goal percentage. And with Pau hitting the boards at a career pace, they also lead the league in team rebounds per-game.

Heck, at this point, Hollinger makes up statistics just so the Lakers can lead the league in it*. Yes, the Lakers are even the best in limiting ADJFG%. So, in the words of Mr. Artest, suck on that, haters.

***

At the beginning of the season, I predicted the Lakers would win 69 games. That would set a high-water mark for the already esteemed franchise. The dilution of talent in the league, and the lack of quality opponents in their division and conference helped raise this number. Also, I figured that if the Lakers won their December 12^th match against Utah, they would challenge the 33-game win streak record. (They didn’t.)

These are ballsy claims. I realize this.

But here is my rationale: the Lakers are the only team of The Big Four to not take away from their core. Cleveland is a mess right now because Shaq is clogging up the middle and demanding the ball, like always, and their offense revolves around giving LeBron James the ball and scramming. The Celtics have lacked ever since Kevin Garnett got injured, and no amount of amazing Rajon Rondo games can help that. Orlando has yet to assimilate Vince Carter into the mix completely, and they are facing another stretch without Jameer Nelson, a player that could be considered the best on that talented team.

So, even if you argue that the Lakers were better with Trevor Ariza (which I won’t) they still have their top five players operating at peak performance. And since those other teams are in the Eastern Conference, the Lakers don’t have to see them too often. They can, in essence, beat each other up until the Finals, while the Lakers face the Kings and Timberwolves of the league.

This should give you, Mister Artest, the maximum amount of time to completely grasp this Laker team, and perform at your peak. I am already impressed, but I believe there’s more you can show us.

And, just for now, stay out of the Tiger Woods mess, won’t you?

____________________________________________

*essentially.

*From ESPN.com: ^ AFG%: Adjusted FG Percentage = [(PTS - FTM)/FGA]/2. ADJFG% measures shooting efficiency by taking into account the total points a player produces through his field goal attempts. The intention of this adjustment is largely to evaluate the impact of three-point shooting. For ex: If Shaquille O'Neal has 3-5 FG, all two-point shots for 6 points, then his ADJ FG% = [(6/5)]/2 = .600. Meanwhile, if Ray Allen is 2-5 FG, but his 2 FGM are both three-pointers for 6 points, then his ADJ FG% = [(6/5)]/2 = .600