The Third Coming

No formalities. No how-ya-doin, long-time-no-see. It's time to jump back in to the cess-pool that is the NBA pre-season. And consider me your handi-wipe on this trip down the gutter.
Lord knows there's enough to talk about.

So, in the next several days, I will highlight my stance on the off-season occurrences, scandal, rumors, trades, recent tragedy (RIP Eddie Griffin), and all the other nonsense that made this one of the more memorable/infamous offseasons ever. Then, we will proceed with our pre-season matchups and projections that will inevitably turn out to be wrong, misguided, or just plain stupid. But that's why we're here.

We start, of course, with Phil Donahue. Err, Tim Donaghy. Right.

* * *

Let me begin by stating this:

THE TIM DONAGHY SCANDAL IS GOOD FOR THE NBA.

We as basketball fans seem to be forgetting this basic point. Basketball will exist beyond the scandal, even with the worst-case scenario of David Stern leaving his post in shame. Basketball will live as long as there are people with fluid income in New York, Boston, and LA who want to impress other people with fluid incomes. And though foreign futures were dropping, I don't think Jack Nicholson is in any trouble ponying up for his courtsides. So...

POINT #1: "Basketball lives on." (Or, "We will see another Suns rise.")

Now, as our sport's future is most certain, let us progress to what we will be watching. I see two scenarios. There will either be a re-shuffling of the current cast of referees (if Donaghy names names and Stern is forced to come down hard by outside sources), which would result in a troop of similarly-taught, similarly-trained robo-refs injected into the current pool of veterans. This would mean that the calls made by these refs would not vary as wildly as we have seen in the past. (See: Joey Crawford, PMS) Similar incidences on the court would receive concurrent results. So, this would be good for the game, as there is a constant and consistent level of officiating throughout the season. Once the initial scandal wears off, we have a better and more-fair product to watch.

-OR-

Donaghy truly acted alone, as I believehe did, and no one else will be implicated. But the fallout is such that every ref (to stick with the metaphor) is now radioactive. Just wait till the first incident of the season. A player looses his cool (Rasheed), and a ref will be blamed. A player slides in too late on a charge and causes injury (Ginobili), and a ref will be blamed. Score too low, score too high, fouls called, fouls not called, the refs will be blamed. Think it was bad before? If Garnett accidentally tosses baby powder in the sideline scorekeeper's eyes, there will be an internal investigation for score tampering. The only question that remains is, who will be the first whipping boy?

So, the only thing that can happen in a situation like this is a Grade-A officiating job or Dick Bavetta pulling out a handgun in Phoenix and shooting the Go-Rilla.

And, people, honestly...you really think the refs didn't bet on Bavetta v. Barkley? Please.

POINT #2: "The NBA will have an officiating overhaul!" (Or, "If a whistle blows alone in the woods, is it a foul?")

Either way, there will be intense scrutiny, and I believe in this case that is far from a bad thing.

It's like after Jack-in-the-Box was hit with the big food-poisoning lawsuit about a decade back. I remember my coach saying to me, "listen, the safest place to eat in the world right now is Jack-in-the-Box. Those guys are under such ridiculous surveillance, I bet they're serving Filet Mignon on a bun." Donaghy = food poisoning. Result = Filet Mignon.

I only wish my high-school SAT's worked like that.