The Ugly Truth Blog

A quick thank-you to Truehoop.com for spotting me a link in their Friday bullets. Keep up the great work, Abbott.

TRUTH: The NBA needs the Crazies. The Crazies make the world go 'round.

Let me explain: the NBA has been, for the last thirty years or so, the red-headed (or nappy 'fro) step-child of the NFL and MLB. All things being equal, the other two leagues would get their prime-time share of viewers, leaving basketball to wallow in the wake of the oiltanker that is the National Football League. Since there are only 16-someodd games in the NFL regular season, Sundays are a must-see. And baseball will average a moderate draw of viewers on any given day, well, because that's what Americans have been doing since the inception of beer and baseball.

But we NBA fans, we're scrappy.

The NBA needs the Vince McMahn element in order to function properly. The unexpected, the unscripted, the emotional/humorous/bizarre needs to happen EVERY GAME to keep the product alive and the audience coming back. The oddities need to be collected and displayed. The unpredictable needs to become predictable.

Why? Because the NBA is the most free-form arena of sport and athletics. Personality dictates performance, more so than in any other sport (other than perhaps a pitcher in baseball - those guys are intimidating!) This allows for much more free expression than in your average event.

Furthermore, the season is a grinding 82 games at least, and doldrums begin to set in by mid-January. In the NBA, quirkiness is rewarded both on and off the court, and oftentimes the unconventional will result in a basket, since the defender didn't think of that option.

We are your emo drama kids. Yes, we will dye our hair. The NBA - where crazy happens.

Case in point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Pt9VR_qnhY

What happens: Sam Cassell runs into George Karl. They hold for a moment, and release in a fit of giggles. Yes, it was an accident, but tell me there wasn't some performance here. Just because it's Sam, it must make this list. Where else can you see an alien hug a man? To me, this is a Stage-1 expression of the Crazies...funny, harmless, but out-of-the-ordinary.

Case in point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jX7dW5jYWmg

What happens: Bill Walton gets a flat tire (de-shoe'd, as it were.) As he attempts to find his sole, a shot goes up. What does theDeadhead do? Tosses his Converse at the shot. Of course you did, Bill. I list this as Stage-2, since it disrupted the game, a definite NBA no-no.

Of course, this gets extreme. A couple of our non-conventional fellows may spout off in a...less acceptable manner.

Case in point - Stage 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuo7mFxeROo

What happens: Dennis Motherf****** Rodman loses skills with age, begins to go nutso in LA. The skills that made him recognized as the premeir rebounder of the late 80's and early 90's (namely, the tenaciousness, body sacrifice, and once-adorable quirkiness) fester into into a troubled, angry mess. Same could be said about Mister...

RON ARTEST, Stage 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhRFQiQM8CY

Truth be told, I think THIS is the lasting black eye upon the league. Not Donaghy. On the court, Artest was the enforcer. The defensive stopper. But, I feel sorry for him, since that mindframe that had been encouraged for so long couldn't have been shut down. And so he hurdled the scorer's table and knocked out a couple drunk dudes. The NBA - it's where the action comes to you.

But, to go back to the origin of this post, these are the reasons that people watch the NBA. Yes, they can get out of hand if gone unchecked. Being unpredictable has its faults.

If every game had an emotionless back-and-forth for the full 48, who would watch?

...well, other than Kings fans?